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It's gotten a lot harder to work in government. You think Winston Churchill ever had to pull his pants down and show his butt? No. But would he have? Yes. Now could he have? Well maybe not towards the end of his life. But, he would have. Because he loved his job.

Leslie

There's a $75 change fee, but I could pay you that or I could reimburse you. There's a lot of ways we could handle that.

Dave

OK good, because I have to run a public forum, supervise the maintenance crews and teach crafts at the senior center. Simultaneously.

Ron

The big issue now is, who is this mystery woman? She and Knope are standing very close to each other, and anytime you see two women standing very close to each other you immediately assume... lesbian.

Donny

In a 24-hour news cycle, the tiniest story gets dissected over and over again. In 2004, a kid from Pawnee went to the Olympics, and it was reported on for over a year. He wasn't even competing or anything. He was just going literally to watch the Olympics.

Leslie

Have you seen Ann? You know how hot she is? Men give women of that caliber speed boats, private jets. Not computer bags.

Tom

Dave: If I ever see that guy I'm gonna punch him right in the face.
Leslie: Yeah, that's sweet. Use your nightstick.

April: Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley?
Leslie: How would that help?
April: I don't know. I just want to see if I could do it.
Leslie: April, I appreciate that, but I don't think it's something worth losing your virginity over.

The mystery woman who met with Councilman Dexhart last night appears to be a government employee named Leslie Norp. According to unconfirmed reports in the Pawnee Sun, the two bent an elbow at this local watering hole, and although they left separately, no one knows whether they woke up... together.

Perd Hapley

Leslie: Our tree lighting ceremony will be simulcast on Internet radio.
Tom: That's a really big deal.
Leslie: It is. Thank you.
Tom: Listening to that tree lighting's gonna be dop

Leslie: Everyone's going to do Santa for two hours, so I would just advise everyone before you get in your costume to go to the bathroom so we can avoid what happened last year.
Jerry: It was just farts.

We can't have raccoons for the Christmas thing. They'll hunt the kids for sport.

Ron
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 16 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

There's a bunch of messages waiting for you about a bunch of things I don't understand.

Ron

There isn't a woman alive who doesn't love diamonds. Even the super left wing chicks who saw Blood Diamond and cried. When they get a diamond, they like, "yeah, bitch, get more of them blood diamonds. Make 'em extra bloody."

Tom
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