Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Tom: Joan, let's make a pact, OK? If we're both still single in an hour, let's get married.
Joan: Tom, I'm already married.
Tom: Oh, that's right. To Seal. Oh, I confused you with Heidi Klum again.

Ann: Wow, that's disgusting.
Chris: Yeah, it's very hard to drink.

Look, who hasn't had gay thoughts? Who?

Ben

Joan? I thought you were Jennifer Aniston filming a movie here.

Tom

Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. Easy. Boom, a sad desk. Boom, sad wall. It's art. Anything is anything.

Ron

April: Dear April's grandmother. I said grandfather.
Andy: Oh. Oops. OK.
April: You are a beautiful and amazing woman. Man. I hope some day I can become half the woman you are. He's a man. Thank you for the $500. It was $5. Enjoy the Mouse Rat CD. He is deaf.
Andy: OK, do you want me to make those changes or is it good?

We are colleagues with benefits. We're colleagues who benefit from the fact that we're also friends.

Leslie

I'm sorry, Shauna. I think I need to go. But, um, thank you so much and as always everything I said is off the record. OK? Bye.

Leslie

Nice job man. Was that your first time talking to other people? 'Cause it came off that way. You embarrassed me in front of The Douche.

Tom

Well, the douche, it's a Pawnee tradition and it's where fun meets awesome.. meets agriculture.

Leslie

Andy: Tell me your least favorite things you have to do everyday and I'll do them for a month.
April: Fine. If you do everything I hate for a month, then I might begin to think about the possiblity of thinking about maybe staying.
Andy: That's all I have to hear. You won't live to regret this.

Ann: Is this right?
Chris: This feels almost perfect, but I don't think your core has maximized elasticity.
April: Okay, umm, I'll come back if you guys are.. being weird.

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