Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Man: Sup, guys? Just douching over here in Eagleton.
Tom: Sweet.

No, I don't care about their relationship. I just don't want to lose April. I would never be able to find a worst assistant.


Why are you working the permit's desk, and why was that child clubbing your nuggets?


Crazy Ira: Know why I'd never be an astronaut? Two words: Space farts. You can't roll down the window to the shuttle. Am I right, folks?

Unless Andy can un-kiss Ann, then I'm not going to change my mind.


April: Do you have Internet in your office?
Chris: Yes.

And I even called Oprah. Well, I tried to call Oprah. Couldn't get her number. I'm putting it out there, like The Secret. And hopefully she'll call me.


Leslie: Boy, 35 percent.
Ben: It's actually 34.2 percent.
Leslie: 34.2 percent. I am Ben, the numbers robot.

I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.


Took her home. Polished her up. Bought a brand new ribbon off of electronic bay dot com.

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