Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation "Ron and Tammy" Quotes

Ron: Every time she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of man. But you know the worst thing about her?
Leslie: She works for the library.
Ron: She works for the library.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Ron: Tammy is a mean person.
Leslie: Come on, Ron. You can do better than that.
Ron: She's a grade-A bitch.
Leslie: There we go.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tammy: Baby, don't you see what's happening here? She's manipulating you because she's jealous of me and the things I get to do to your body and face.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Are you even listening to yourself? You're defending the library now? Ron, the library. Of all the horrifying miserable things in the world.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: So what did you guys talk about? Old times? Oh, I love talking about old times. New times are great too, but there's just something about old times. You know what I mean?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to, 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Ron: I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. But this stock photo I bought at a framing store isn't real. Today I got the real thing. A naked Tammy made me breakfast this morning. I should have taken a picture of it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: When Tiger Woods feels invincible he wears a red shirt and black pants. Ron wears the same thing after he's had sex.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Tammy: It's really good to see you, Ron.
Ron: You've aged horribly.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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