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Ron: Every time she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of man. But you know the worst thing about her?
Leslie: She works for the library.
Ron: She works for the library.

Ron: Tammy is a mean person.
Leslie: Come on, Ron. You can do better than that.
Ron: She's a grade-A bitch.
Leslie: There we go.

Baby, don't you see what's happening here? She's manipulating you because she's jealous of me and the things I get to do to your body and face.

Are you even listening to yourself? You're defending the library now? Ron, the library. Of all the horrifying miserable things in the world.

Leslie

So what did you guys talk about? Old times? Oh, I love talking about old times. New times are great too, but there's just something about old times. You know what I mean?

Leslie

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to, 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Tom

I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. But this stock photo I bought at a framing store isn't real. Today I got the real thing. A naked Tammy made me breakfast this morning. I should have taken a picture of it.

When Tiger Woods feels invincible he wears a red shirt and black pants. Ron wears the same thing after he's had sex.

Tom

Tammy: It's really good to see you, Ron.
Ron: You've aged horribly.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

So you talked to Tammy? What's it like to stare in the eye of Satan's butt hole?

Leslie: I want it to be a perfect park with state-of-the-art swing set and basketball courts and off to the side a lovely sitting area for kids with asthma to watch other kids play.
Tammy: Wow. If I had a park like that when I was growing up I probably wouldn't have gone through such a prolonged mall slut phase.
Leslie: Well, that's... that's the goal, Tammy.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 23 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes

I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. But this stock photo I bought at a framing store isn't real. Today I got the real thing. A naked Tammy made me breakfast this morning. I should have taken a picture of it.

Ron

Leslie: April, stop that. Who are you texting?
April: You.
Leslie: Aww, she's texting me... I'm sorry you're bored.

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