Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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I am gonna build that park myself. And it is gonna be awesome. And it's not gonna have a fountain shaped like Hugo Chavez's head spitting water all over everyone. Unless that's what the people want.

Leslie

Why don't you call the park after Chavez? You know you call it Hugo Chavez Park. You can have a nice, big fountain of his head so that when the water is coming out he's spitting at you all the time. You should write this down.

Raul

Leslie: Let's look at the pros and cons.
Ann: Pro, we can fill in the pit and build a park.
Leslie: Con, we might be filling it in with dirty money.
Tom: Pro, $35,000 worth of dirty money.
Leslie: Con, not quite sure why that's a pro.
Mark: We can fill in the pit.
Leslie: Con, Ann already said that. Pro and con never works.
Tom: Pro, yes it does.

Leslie: I'm gonna return the money.
Tom: Are you crazy? You could buy a low-end Lexus with that money.
Ann: Or you could build a park with that money.

Raul: No wonder nothing ever gets done in this country.
Leslie: Really? Nothing gets done. Tell that to the Golden Gate Bridge. Or American Idol. Or the moon. Oh wait, you can't because you've never been there.

Leslie: Well, in a true democracy we believe that the input of our citizens is extremely valuable.
Lawrence: Hey, these pretzels suck.
Leslie: Thank you. See?

Great, well we don't have Lady Gaga. And I don't think she's going to come here unless her career takes a very bad turn.

Leslie

Raul: We get 14,000 channels. Fourteen thousand. I already know who wins Project Runway.
Leslie: Wow, I'm coming over to your house then.
Raul: I see what you're getting at, but no thank you. I am still primarily interested in the large, black woman.

We'll take them to Chicago and pretend it's part of Pawnee. Or New York. Or London! No, wait, the money's different there. They'll figure it out. OK, nevermind. We'll go to the park.

Leslie

Leslie: Look, I know these guys didn't turn out to be exactly how we thought they would be.
Tom: You said they might not know what toilet paper is.
Leslie: I'm calling inaudible.

That's why people respect Hillary Clinton so much. 'Cause nobody takes a punch like her. She's the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world.

Leslie

Leslie: What kind of birds do you guys eat?
Raul: Chickens.
Leslie: Us too. Amazing.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 18 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 5 Quotes

Also, remember everyone. Venezuela is a poor country. These men are not used to the wealth and flash that we have here in central Indiana.

Leslie

Leslie: Our photo op with the mayor is tomorrow at 3 p.m., so I'm gonna need your suggestions about my wardrobe asap.
Tom: I told you, gold sequin sweatpants.