Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 22: "The Master Plan" Quotes
Jean-Ralphio: One time I waited outside a woman's house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her. Turns out, it was the wrong house. She loved the story anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.
April: That's so cute.
Jean-Ralphio: Yeah, super cute.
I'm reading this, and I'm like, how could they hurt those gorillas like that? They're such gentle, magnificent creatures. You know, I'm an animal lover, I don't know.
Tom
I loved Andy. Loved him. Loved Andy. He was a totally helpless baby when we met. I dated him for three years. Now he's an adult with a job. And some other girl is going to reap the rewards of my hard work? That's [expletive].
Ann
Ann: Let me ask you something. I'm hot.
Andy: Is that a question?
Ladies. Is there anything you desire at all? Besides me?
Tom
What's a not-gay way to ask him to go camping with me?
Ron
Leslie: Well, but Chris said that you just had to, you know, tinker with things.
Ben: Yeah he said that because that sounds a lot better than, "We're going to gut it with a machete."
What exactly will you be cutting? And how much of it, and can I watch you do it while eating pork cracklings?
Ron
Chris is the most positive state budget auditing consultant I've ever met. I mean, I made eye contact with him and it was like staring into the sun.
Leslie
Jerry, we don't know that. Maybe these people are very helpful and pleasant and-aah! Death!
Leslie
Man, I should have yelled at you way more.
Mark
Tom says it's OK. That probably means it isn't OK.
Andy
