Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Parks and Recreation.

Chris: I'd love to chat with you. Can I call you?
Ann: You have my phone number?
Chris: No, you couldn't remember your phone number. But you gave me your phone.

Ann: Hey, Ron. Did we make out last night?
Ron: Good god, woman. No.

Leslie: What was that song you played at the swearing in ceremony?
Ben: "Whoop, There It Is."
Leslie: Yes. God, I was so jealous of you.

When I was 18, I ran for mayor of my small town and won. Little bit of anti-establishment voter rebellion I guess. Here's the thing, though, about 18 year olds. They're idiots. So I pretty much ran the place into the ground and after two months got impeached. Worst part was my parents grounded me.

Ben

The problem is I only have 15 penises, so, there would have been 28 girls who are really upset with me.

Tom

Ten cosmos. Eight Smirnoff Ices. And everything else starts with the word pomegranate. Aw, was it your bachelorette party?

Lucy

Don't keep him too long. I need someone to be here when I take a multivitamin. It's a choking hazard.

Chris

Leslie: I'm here to speak to Ben, actually.
Chris: Great, I'm going to listen to some ocean sounds and do some pull-ups.

Scientists believe that the first human being to live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.

Chris

Leslie: Wow, you have a lot of bottles there.
Chris: Oh yeah, would you like a vitamin? B12? Evening Primrose Oil? Willa Bar? Magnesium?
Leslie: No thank you.
Chris: Sure? They're good for hangovers.
Leslie: OK, I'll take one.

You know what's thirsty? You know what's weird? How thirsty I get when I'm weird. When I'm drunk.

Leslie

Jean-Ralphio: This party sucks. Let's get out of here.
April: It's my birthday party.
Jean-Ralphio: It is?
April: Yes.
Jean-Ralphio: Sorry, boo.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 31 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 22 Quotes

Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.

Tom

Tom: Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9 o'clock p.m. At the world famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee Journal has called, "The sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
Leslie: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word sexiest. But, we've hired better security.