It's rock and roll, my friend. Fast, smooth, handsome rock.


Well, frankly I would love to hit that. But Ann's being a little weird about it.


Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.

Chris: Did you ever break your arm? You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.
Leslie: One time I was on my bike and some boys were making fun of me, so I chased them and I lost control. I'm surprised you can see that. It was like three years ago.
Chris: Can't believe I turned the machine off for that.

Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"

Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.

I had to finish watching Swimfan because it was... on.


Jerry: April, there's no paper in the printer.
April: So?
Jerry: So, that's the one thing you do.

You are wearing the hell out of that suit, sir. Banana two-button. We should talk later.


Leslie: So what is your specialty? Is it locking up the bad guys or keeping them on the street?
Justin: Uh, neither. Civil litigation mostly.

I'm back on the horse, and this horse is a lawyer so I'm looking forward to riding him.


Just one rule, I don't want to date a twin because I've been tricked before


Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes

Talking about writing about what I'm doing. Now I'm singing about talking about writing about what I'm doing.


I wanna punch you in the face so bad right now.

Ron [to Tom]