I guess I'll have to wait for tomorrow's paper to find out our relationship status.

Chris

I love nothing!

Ron

I've been a baller since birth, son. Now I'm an athlete.

Tom

Did I do basketball?

Tom

Chris: According to Leslie's binder, her and April are making better time than on a normal day.
Leslie: Oh that's weird with us being women and all. You'd think our boobs would be getting in the way.

April: Let's rock this.
Leslie: April, I love you, but I don't need your sarcasm.
April: I'm serious. Let's get rolling, let's get into some garbage!
(to the camera) What? I love garbage.

Man on committee: I believe one problem with hiring women is that they're frail and breakable.
Leslie: Are you sure you're not talking about a lightbulb? Or your hip?

Did anyone notice that there are no women on the gender equality committee?

Amy

I can't keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian's husband and his friends.

Tom

I don't entirely understand the behavior of young people. Recently we engaged in something called a group hang. It was like a date but there were seven other people there.

Chris

Girls, this is Ann. Talk to Ann. She's terrific.

Ron

April: You know what? I think men are better than women.
Ann: She's kidding.
April: No I'm not. They provide for us and we must obey them because they are our masters.

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

Girls, this is Ann. Talk to Ann. She's terrific.

Ron

April: You know what? I think men are better than women.
Ann: She's kidding.
April: No I'm not. They provide for us and we must obey them because they are our masters.