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I guess I'll have to wait for tomorrow's paper to find out our relationship status.


I love nothing!


I've been a baller since birth, son. Now I'm an athlete.


Did I do basketball?


Chris: According to Leslie's binder, her and April are making better time than on a normal day.
Leslie: Oh that's weird with us being women and all. You'd think our boobs would be getting in the way.

April: Let's rock this.
Leslie: April, I love you, but I don't need your sarcasm.
April: I'm serious. Let's get rolling, let's get into some garbage!
(to the camera) What? I love garbage.

Man on committee: I believe one problem with hiring women is that they're frail and breakable.
Leslie: Are you sure you're not talking about a lightbulb? Or your hip?

Did anyone notice that there are no women on the gender equality committee?


I can't keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian's husband and his friends.

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