Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 3 Episode 15: "The Bubble"

Ron: This is my favorite part about having a new city manager. They always try to shake things up and their ideas are terrible and it brings city hall to a grinding halt. I just grab a few donuts, sit back, and enjoy the show.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Jerry, I believe you are capable of much more.

Jerry: I'm not.

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: You know what I should do? I should get my mother a one way ticket to London, leaving today. That way Ben never has to meet her and I could visit her in London. Everybody wins.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: I think at some point you and I should probably make out with each other.

Leslie: Yeah, good call.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: And you have an officemate, his name is Stewart. And he's kind of a grouch.

Ann: I have an officemate?

Stewart: Get these f-ing balloons out of here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 14: "Road Trip"

Leslie: Perfect. I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom, the wiz palace as I like to call it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: And so as you can see Pawnee has 12 beautiful baseball diamonds. And our seats have extra cushions due to the massive size of our average citizen.

 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Their bathmats are amazing it's like stepping on a lamb.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ann: Yeah, I snuck an Al Green song in there. I want them to get together, sue me.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ron: It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teet until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine year old.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Ann, everything you have is too sexy. This is actually the dress Julia Roberts wore as prostitute in Pretty Woman.

Ann: I know I look really good in it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 13: "The Fight"

Leslie: Oh my god I'm so hungover. I've never been this hungover.
Ben: I feel great. I ran 5K this morning.
Leslie: Really?
Ben: No, I threw up in the shower.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ann: Also, I can talk about my qualifications for this position, but first I am gonna go throw up in a waste basket.

Leslie: Would you mind if I joined you?

Ann: Not at all.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Is this everybody?

Donna: Ann took a cab. Tom's in the trunk. Jerry's on the roof.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: John Ralphio!

John: Yes, I'm here.

Leslie: Dance up on me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: And let's be honest, it would be nice to not have to pull strange things out of people's butts every night.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whorewille.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Jan Cooper will give you Chlamydia. Brought to you by the Pawnee Department of Public Health.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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