When life gives you lemons make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.

Andy

Chris, you have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department.

Ron

[To Leslie] Your Mom, kind of made a pass at me.

Ben

This spaceship keyboard is driving me crazy. I'm down to one word a minute and the word is perflipiskop. Because I can't fly spaceships.

Donna

Leslie: When I first met you I thought you were a fascist hard ass.

Ben: What?

Ben: Should we talk about how you claimed your mom was a Filipino woman you've never met.

Leslie: Should we?

There's a whole room on the fourth floor where they store the knives they've confiscated from people who went to the fourth floor to stab someone.

Tom

Chris: Somebody say my name.

Jerry: Chris.

Chris: Swivel! What is it, Jerry?

Jerry: You told me to say your name.

Chris: And you did a great job superstar.

This is my favorite part about having a new city manager. They always try to shake things up and their ideas are terrible and it brings city hall to a grinding halt. I just grab a few donuts, sit back, and enjoy the show.

Ron

Chris: Jerry, I believe you are capable of much more.

Jerry: I'm not.


You know what I should do? I should get my mother a one way ticket to London, leaving today. That way Ben never has to meet her and I could visit her in London. Everybody wins.

Leslie

Ben: I think at some point you and I should probably make out with each other.

Leslie: Yeah, good call.

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes

Woman: These are way too tight.
Tom: Well, the real Cinderella didn't have hippo feet.

The bankrupt government of Pawnee has been shut down all summer so it's been three months of no work, no meetings, no memos, no late nights, nothing. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Leslie