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Ron: Is this everybody?

Donna: Ann took a cab. Tom's in the trunk. Jerry's on the roof.

Leslie: John Ralphio!

John: Yes, I'm here.

Leslie: Dance up on me.

And let's be honest, it would be nice to not have to pull strange things out of people's butts every night.

Leslie

Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whorewille.

Chris

Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers.

Chris

Jan Cooper will give you Chlamydia. Brought to you by the Pawnee Department of Public Health.

Chris

I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are US Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Lawrence fine two inch style oscillating knife blade.

Ron

I want this night to get krazy. Get me a shot of snake juice. I hear it has a dope aftertaste.

Ron

Meeting in one hour. If you don't make it you're on my donezo list.

Tom

Leslie: Do you remember what you said to me five years ago when Eagleton offered me that job and I asked you for your advice?
Ron: Do whatever the hell you want. What do I care?
Leslie: Right, but then after, when I pressed you, what did you say?
Ron: I believe I said that I thought we worked well together, and that I might disagree with your philosophy but I respected you. And I said that you'll get a lot of job offers in your life but you only have one hometown.
Leslie: Yes, that's how I remember it.

The only thing I'm guilty of is loving Pawnee. And punching Lindsay in the face and shoving a coffee filter down her pants.

Leslie

Oh dude, you forgot to put a shirt on. Don't worry I do it all the time.

Andy
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 259 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

Ron

I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.

Ron
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