Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 3 Episode 11: "Jerry's Painting"

Leslie: That painting is not gonna be destroyed. Every great work of art contains a message. And the message of this painting is get out of my way unless you want an arrow in your ass Marsha.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 10: "Soulmates"

Chris: Fresh lettuce is my all-time favorite food. What's your favorite food?
Andy: Oh, I take Skittles and I put it between two Starbursts. Know what I call it?
Chris: Skittle Sandwich?
Andy: ...That's pretty good. No, I call it Andy's Mouth Surprise. It's nice because the flavor of the Starbursts really bring out a similar flavor in the Skittles.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Ron: Who the hell is 'Fwarp'?
April: I don't know. I couldn't really hear him. It sounded like his name was Fwarp.
Ron: Get his number?
April: No.
Ron: Good girl.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Yellow haired female... likes waffles and news.
Ann: Sexy, well-read blonde... loves the sweeter things in life.
Leslie: Much better.
Ann: Hobbies?
Leslie: Organizing my agenda. Wait, that doesn't sound fun...jammin' on my planner!
Ann: Favorite place?
Leslie: Upstairs there's this mural of wildflowers, and I like to sit on a bench in front of it.
Ann: Really? It could be anywhere in the world: Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon...
Leslie: Nope. Just the bench in front of the mural.
Ann: What about an actual meadow, where wildflowers are?
Leslie: Eww, Ann, I'm scared of bees, mural!
Ann: Okay, what do you think of dogs?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Cats?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Fish?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Turtles?
Leslie: No opinion. They're condescending.
Ann: Describe your ideal man.
Leslie: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing. And he plays the organ.
Ann: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Zerts are what I call deserts, tray trays are what I call entrees, sandwiches are sammies, sandoozles or Adam Sandlers, air conditioners are cool blaterz with a "z" ... I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies, I call noodles long ass rice, fried chicken is fry fry chicky chick, chicken parmesan is chicky chicky parm parm, chicken caciatore is chicky catch, I call eggs pre-birds or future birds, root beer is super water, tortillas are bean blankets, and I call forks... food rakes!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Here's mine. It's a hamburger made out of meat on a bun with nothing. Add ketchup if you want I couldn't care less.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Kyle: I love the Umami flavor.
Jerry: Stop being so pretentious Kyle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: I call eggs pre-birds or future birds.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Chris: What's your favorite food?
Andy: I take skittles and I put it between two Starbursts.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Employee: Sir, is there a problem?
Ron: I'm just making sure no one ever has to eat this.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Yellow haired female likes waffles and news.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Have you ever tried a turkey burger?
Ron: Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger? If so, yes, delicious.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Listen, I've eaten a commissary hamburger for lunch every day for twelve years. I just wanted to make sure this pointless health crusade won't affect the only part of my job that I like.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Pawnee is, as you all know, the fourth most obese city in America.
Tom: Soon to be number three. We're coming for you San Antonio.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 9: "Fancy Party"

Ron: "The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: "I want to spend the rest of my life, every minute, with you. And I'm the luckiest man in the galaxy."
 • Rating: Unrated

April: "I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: "No Oren I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: "Excuse me! Are there any strippers here? Former strippers? Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk?"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: "One time I fell madly in love with a civil war re-enactor that I had only known for six hours. And then I found out he wore the clothes all the time... and he was married. But the clothes thing really bothered me."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "Parks and Recreation" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!