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Parks-and-recreation

Don't touch my pickles Ann!

Leslie

You were very fair. In fact, I'm the one who needs to apologize. I got you involved in PCP, but I'm starting a new group now, LSD - Leslie's Sorry Division - and I just wanted to say I'm sorry Chris.

Leslie

I don't know what else to say except let's go win an election.

Leslie

So it learns information about me?

Ron

And then my herbalist took this weird bee pollen paste, rubbed it around my gums, and now my mouth feels like a spaceship.

Chris

I received adorable nicknames and amazing backrubs.

Leslie

Leslie: Ann, I need you to text me every thirty seconds that everything is going to be okay.
Ann: Okay!
Leslie: [Phone rings] Thanks Ann!

When you sit back and let your reputation be destroyed. You go down in history as a frozen whore.

Leslie

Ron: She's here.
Leslie: Who's here?
Ron: My ex-wife Tammy 2. I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves.

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