Favorite Reaper Quotes
Ben: I mean, who's going to want me?
Sock: You bite your tongue, Benjamin. You bite your tongue 'til it bleeds in your mouth. You are a beautiful man, the outside and the inside. You got, you got that smile, that really lights up a room, that laugh. And that sexy Latin gaze that pulls you in like a magnet from the mother ship.
Ben: You... mean that?
Sock: Benjamin Casper Perez Gonzalez, I could get lost in your eyes for days. I'm not going to apologize for that
Women. They're like a... mystery, wrapped inside of a... mystery wrapped inside of a third mystery
Sock
Sock: All right, listen to me. I'm not advocating violence here. But if you need to... uh... "take care of Greg," I know some people.
Sam: Yeah, I know the Devil. I think my people trump your people.
Sock: Yeah... Oh, yeah
You know, Sam, sarcasm is the lowest form of social discourse
Devil
Sam: So, uh, what did I miss last night?
Sock: Oh dude, the bar was awesome. We had a great time.
Sam: Yeah?
Sock: Yeah.
Sam: What happened?
Sock: Uh, nothing happened. It was super boring. It sucked.
Sam: You just said it was awesome.
Sock: Yeah, I chose my words poorly, Sam
Sam: What is Ted doing?
Andi: I put a note on his windshield. It says: "Sorry, I hit your car."
Sam: You hit Ted's car?
Andi: No.
Sam: Who did?
Andi: No one
Devil: Forget about the contract.
Sam: No, no. I wanna see it.
Devil: But why?
Sam: Because I wanna know my rights.
Devil: Oh, that's easy. You don't have any
She's my sister and the only one allowed to have sex with her is me
Sock [to Topher]
Bob: My name is Bob and I'm a demon.
Everyone: Hi, Bob!
Bob: I had a rough week. Started off great. I rode around on Monday, collecting recyclables. Then I dropped coins into expired meters. Then I tried to eat a child. I knew right away it was wrong, so I untied the kid and called my sponsor Randy
It's really nice to see that even though I've clearly moved on, that my mark is still all over you. Like dog pee on a pretty, pretty little tree
Sock [to Josie]
Ben: Well, did the Devil give you instructions, a manual, anything?
Sam: No, the Devil just pretty much sets me up for failure.
Ben: Yeah, well he is the Devil
Sam: Yeah, you know, I've been thinking about that. I don't think I'm the guy who should be taking on the forces of evil.
Devil: No?
Sam: I know you own my soul and all, but I think the world would be better off if I worked for you in a lesser capacity.
Devil: Such as?
Sam: Well.. I haven't come up with the full plan or anything. Maybe I could get the word out, you know, be a recruiter. I could start my own Satanic web site, with evil design and then have really cool devil graphics or something.
Devil: Business is booming, Sam, I don't need any help with recruiting
