Reaper

Reaper Quotes

Season 2 Episode 8: "The Home Stretch"

Andi: So. What are you going to do with your new freedom?
Sam: I might learn a new language.
Andi: Really?
Sam: No. I'll probably just nap a lot
 • Rating: Unrated

Devil: Yeah, would you look at that, huh? Makes me sick. All the CO2 spewing in the air, polluting our planet, choking our beautiful Mother Earth. Did you know that global warming is the biggest threat facing us today?
Sam: Really? You care about global warming?
Devil: Yes, I care. Because it could destroy our planet. And if that happens, that jackass upstairs can count all the casualties as innocents. That means I won't get any of the souls. Zero. So yeah, man, I'm goin' green
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 7: "The Good Soil"

Kristen: I came to America as a girl. But because of you I leave it as a woman who has discovered both her sexuality and her ability to manage an extended-stay hotel.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sock: I talked to your dad already, and once he gets tired of beating me, we can eventually be happy together, you and me
 • Rating: Unrated

Sock: Something good happened here today, boys. The geek escaped from Hell. Geek banged a cougar. Geek walks away a little less of a geek. And we helped. Looks like we're his fairy bone-mothers. That is a nice feeling
 • Rating: Unrated

Sam: Well you'd better start connecting physically quick, because I've got a feeling you're running out of time.
Billy: I can't rush it, dude. It's not just about me. It's about Cindy's pleasure too. It says so right on the condom box
 • Rating: Unrated

Nina: Can I tell you a secret?
Ben: Of course.
Nina: Okay. A long time ago, I had hemophobia.
Ben: That ain't right. My cousin's gay.
Nina: No, hemophobia. It's the fear of blood.
Ben: Well, you love blood.
Nina: I know. See, that's what's crazy. I just had to confront my fears. I immersed myself in it, and once I did that it was great, I loved it. And now I can bathe in it every single day.
Ben: That's... nice for you
 • Rating: Unrated

Sam: Maybe Hell will think it's a mix-up. If not, we got to send Billy back.
Sock: Eh. Either way we get to enjoy the night air and desecrate a cemetery
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Tomorrow night for our special anniversary, you and me, we're flying to the moon.
Nina: Baby, you would suffocate and freeze before we got there
 • Rating: Unrated

Sam: It's a work problem. It's just.. it's for my other job.
Andi: Oh, well, can't Sock or Ben do it?
Sam: Well, this problem really needs somebody who's... smart.
Andi: Oh. I can see your dilemma
 • Rating: Unrated

Devil: You know, in the old days I used to get the souls that ate shrimp. Can you imagine how unsatisfying that was?
 • Rating: Unrated

Nina: You know what, there is something that I want to do. It's something that's really important to me. I think it will take our relationship to the next level.
Ben: Reverse cowgirl?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Hey. Guess what Saturday is. Our two-month anniversary.
Nina: You're right. Wow, two months ago I kidnapped you and forced you to be my boyfriend.
Ben: Oh, the details don't matter. What matters is I want to do something special for our occasion. Anything you want to do, okay? Unless it involves sacrificing an animal.
Nina: Oh.
Ben: But anything else, I'm in
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: Could you put some on clothes, please?
Sock: I'm too upset for clothes
 • Rating: Unrated

Kristen: My father cannot know I date my stepbrother.
Sock: All right, sure, look, he'll be shocked at first. Yeah, so is the father of every girl I've ever dated, all right? But eventually, I promise you, he will settle into a nice, grudging acceptance
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 6: "Underbelly"

Ben: I mean, who's going to want me?
Sock: You bite your tongue, Benjamin. You bite your tongue 'til it bleeds in your mouth. You are a beautiful man, the outside and the inside. You got, you got that smile, that really lights up a room, that laugh. And that sexy Latin gaze that pulls you in like a magnet from the mother ship.
Ben: You... mean that?
Sock: Benjamin Casper Perez Gonzalez, I could get lost in your eyes for days. I'm not going to apologize for that
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sock: Okay, if we were meeting at the bar right now. I would probably try and pick you up with my best line.
Kristen: Okay.
Sock: Okay. Ahem. Excuse me. Hi. I think you're standing on my penis.
Kristen: I'm not sure I understand, but it sounds charming
 • Rating: Unrated

Sock: Women. They're like a... mystery, wrapped inside of a... mystery wrapped inside of a third mystery
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: Clingy? She called me clingy? Damn. I got to call her to make sure everything's okay
 • Rating: Unrated

Nina: Ben is adorable, and I really, really like him. But, um, he's just a little clingy. Sometimes. Kind of makes me wanna rip out his internal organs and show them to him. Well, not really, but you know what I mean
 • Rating: Unrated

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