Reaper Season 1 Episode 9: "Ashes to Ashes" Quotes
Ben: The Devil has a child. You know, I never thought the Devil had genitals.
Sock: What, like a Ken doll?
Sock: This Satan's trying to get you to hook you up with his daughter, you know, I bet she wants your man seed.
Sam: What? No.
Sock: Yeah, sure, think about it. You knock her up, right, the Devil has a little Sam baby running around catching souls for him when he grows up. After, you know, you kick. [Sam glares] Which I hope will not be for a very long time
Sam: I think you really cared about her.
Devil: Want to see how much I cared about her? [snaps fingers] She's dead.
Sam: What?
Devil: That's right. With the snap of my fingers, Mimi just got hit by a bus. Gruesome. Can't tell her from the pavement. And that's on you, buddy.
Sam: You sick son of a...
Devil: Oh, calm down, hero. I'm screwing with you. Mimi's fine
Sock: We got presents! Look. Bought your grandmother a book. It's in Spanish.
Ben: It's French.
Sock: What? Oh. Well, you know, it's never too late to learn a new language
Devil: I made no promises. My conscience is clear.
Sam: You don't have a conscience.
Devil: Oh yeah, that's right, what a break
No, no, nothing is impossible. Illegal, yeah, stupid, most definitely, but not impossible
Sock
Oh man, the Devil and I have the exact same taste in women. Is she really flexible, too?
Sock
Devil [at a funeral]: I enjoy spending time at these... ceremonies.
Sam: Right.
Devil: Yes, people start asking questions. "Why would God do this?" "Is there even a God?" I like to be here and try and provide some answers
Sam: Why do you have to do that?
Devil: Well, it's kind of in my nature. You know, "Supreme Spirit of Evil" and all that?
Sam: Yeah, kind of like your nature to be an A-hole.
Devil: Oh, that's beneath you, Sam. You know names hurt
Sock: I get it, I know what you're doing. You're acting like a chick.
Sam: Shut... shut up!
Sock: Oh, no, I will not shut up. You are acting like a chick and she is acting like a dude. That is so sad, Sam. I don't know whether to hug you or kill you out of mercy
She's acting like a dude. You know, anything gets too emotional or too hard, you just ignore it, right? Eventually it'll go away. Which makes Andi even more perfect, if that's possible. [Sam glares] Except for the part where she ripped your heart out and stomped on it. That was rude and lame
Sock
Andi: You guy must have done something enormously horrendous to get food court duty.
Sock: Oh, yeah. Some idiot posted a picture and profile of Ted on a bi-curious website. He totally blamed us.
Andi: Huh. You do it?
Ben: Of course.
Andi: Nice