Reaper Season 1 Quotes
Oh man, the Devil and I have the exact same taste in women. Is she really flexible, too?
Sock
Devil [at a funeral]: I enjoy spending time at these... ceremonies.
Sam: Right.
Devil: Yes, people start asking questions. "Why would God do this?" "Is there even a God?" I like to be here and try and provide some answers
Sam: Why do you have to do that?
Devil: Well, it's kind of in my nature. You know, "Supreme Spirit of Evil" and all that?
Sam: Yeah, kind of like your nature to be an A-hole.
Devil: Oh, that's beneath you, Sam. You know names hurt
Sock: I get it, I know what you're doing. You're acting like a chick.
Sam: Shut... shut up!
Sock: Oh, no, I will not shut up. You are acting like a chick and she is acting like a dude. That is so sad, Sam. I don't know whether to hug you or kill you out of mercy
She's acting like a dude. You know, anything gets too emotional or too hard, you just ignore it, right? Eventually it'll go away. Which makes Andi even more perfect, if that's possible. [Sam glares] Except for the part where she ripped your heart out and stomped on it. That was rude and lame
Sock
Andi: You guy must have done something enormously horrendous to get food court duty.
Sock: Oh, yeah. Some idiot posted a picture and profile of Ted on a bi-curious website. He totally blamed us.
Andi: Huh. You do it?
Ben: Of course.
Andi: Nice
Sock: You know, if I was the Dark Lord, I would do the exact same thing. I'd have a mistress in every continent on the planet.
Sam: He probably does.
Sock: He probably does, doesn't he?
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Sock: God he's living the dream. I want to be the Prince of Darkness. No, uh, no, what's below Prince?
Ben: Uh, Duke.
Sock: Duke. I want to be the Duke of Darkness. Maybe could you talk to him for me, set up a little internship, or...?
Sam: No.
Sock: Not even a chance?
Sam: No
Devil: I need you to go handle some plumbing.
Sam: What, so now I'm your handy man? That's not part of the deal.
Devil: Actually it is. I own you, Sam. If I ask you to take out the garbage in Hell, that's what you'll do
Sock [about Andi]: You need to ask her out again, and again, and again. All right? You need to be persistent, like the ocean. Little waves of Sam crashing on the shores of Andi until she gradually wears down.
Sam: Or she gets a restraining order
So what now, boys? Mom's still in Vegas, I got the car for another two days, I say we pour a bottle of tequila in my face
Sock
Sock: All right, we gotta go to my house so I can pick up one of my sports coats.
Sam: Uh, you don't own a sports coat.
Sock: We gotta go to your dad's house so I can pick up one of his sports coats
Why would a demon be into angel figurines? It's like a cat banging a dog
Sock