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Tommy: I owe you big time for this.
Sheila: No. I did this for us. I did this for all of us.
Tommy: For the brotherhood?
Sheila: No, silly, for the Gavins.
- Permalink: I owe you big time for this. No. I did this for us. I did this...
This is a dysfunctional family. I know. Call the newspapers. There's a headline for you.Tommy
- Permalink: This is a dysfunctional family. I know. Call the newspapers. The...
Sheila: What's he trying to tell us?
Tommy: Probably that he wants to be put up for adoption.
- Permalink: What's he trying to tell us? Probably that he wants to be put ...
Tommy: Nobody's going to drink. Everybody calm down. How much money are we talking?
Sheila: Eight grand.
Tommy: For the wedding.
Sheila and Janet: For the dress.
Tommy: I need a whiskey.
- Permalink: Nobody's going to drink. Everybody calm down. How much money are...
Todd: Who the hell called the cops?
Teddy: I did. You guys are getting your asses kicked in there. I figured you could use some backup.
- Permalink: Who the hell called the cops? I did. You guys are getting your...
Tommy: What's that?
Larry: Now you know why they call me "Loch Ness."
- Permalink: What's that? Now you know why they call me Loch Ness.
Sean: It's us against them at this point. They play dirty. We play dirty. Remember what Needles said.
Sean: What did Needles say?
Needles: You're a moron.
Sean: No. That wasn't it.
Needles: Fight fire with fire.
Sean: Well, I would've remembered that. Hello.
- Permalink: It's us against them at this point. They play dirty. We play dir...
Sean: What do you mean I have a small penis?
Emily: I'm sorry. Really, I'm not trying to be mean. I think you have a great little penis.
Sean: Ok. Can we stop calling it "little," please?
Sean: Yeah, that's... no.
Sean: No, I don't... ok, let's just call it little.
- Permalink: What do you mean I have a small penis? I'm sorry. Really, I'm ...
Needles: Tommy, I need you to go home. Don't do anything stupid for about a month.
Sean: That's not gonna happen. Did I say that out loud?
- Permalink: Tommy, I need you to go home. Don't do anything stupid for about...
Lou: I married a hooker.
Needles: He married a hooker. I married a Russian mail order bride.
Sean: Uh, I married Maggie.
Needles: Which I'm banking on makes the hooker and the mail order bride seem sensible.
Black Shawn: I'm marrying Colleen.
Needles: Which is gonna make marrying Maggie look like a day at the beach. No offense, Tommy.
Tommy: None taken.
Franco: Yeah, well, I guess I could be considered a deadbeat dad.
Needles: And a conspiracy freak.
Mike: My gayness.
Lou: The whole nun thing.
Franco: Lesbo girlfriend.
Mike: Extreme gayness.
Needles: You know what's sad. Him being gay is the least of our public relations problems.
- Permalink: I married a hooker. He married a hooker. I married a Russian m...