Roseanne
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on ABCRoseanne Season 10 Episode 5: "Darlene v. David" Quotes
Now we can shop without the hassle of anyone helping us at all.
Roseanne
Darlene: Mom, that didn't go through.
Roseanne: I heard it beep.
Darlene: Oh my god! You're stealing that.
Roseanne: No. They're making me work as a checkout lady and my starting salary is bacon.
Well David's kinda like my son and you're kinda like my daughter so of course I'm involved.
Roseanne
I almost wasted my time fixing up a carrot cake.
Roseanne
Oh he can walk in here. He just won't be able to walk out.
Dan
There is no reason to ever leave your family. You may think about it. You may dream about it. You may gas up your bike and make sandwiches, but you don't ever do it.
Dan
Hello Jackie. You look tired.
Bev
Bev: What? I had sex. Is that so difficult to imagine?
Jackie: Not anymore. Now it's hard to stop imagining.
I'm vegan now. I have no upper arm strength.
Darlene: Why are you coming in through the window anyway?
David: Does your dad still live here?
Darlene: Yeah.
David: That's why I'm coming in through the window.
It's a decorating choice called poverty.
While I have been picking up kids clothes, dealing with meltdowns, and cleaning up vomit you're dating a crayon.
