Royal Pains

Royal Pains

Sundays 9:00 PM on USA

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Royal Pains "Crazy Love" Quotes

Evan: If she [Katie] actually had cojones and you saw them when you treated her, you couldn't even tell me, could you?
Hank: Nope, couldn't. Confidentiality.
 • Rating: Unrated
Evan: Have you ruled out CD?
Hank: Chronic Duane syndrome?
Evan: Crappy driving.
 • Rating: Unrated
Evan: (to Divya) I do billing. You do 'medicine-y' stuff.
 • Rating: Unrated
Evan: There you are. You want some eggs?
Hank: No, I don't.
Evan: That's good,'cause I only made enough for me.
 • Rating: Unrated
Hank: Oh, okay, so you're gonna take credit for everything that happens in my life post-Brooklyn?
Evan: Man, a butterfly flaps its wings.
 • Rating: Unrated
(Katie earlier referred to Hank as "M.S.G.")
Hank: What's an M.S.G.?
Evan: Medical super god.
Hank: Oh, alright.
Evan: Miniature sex gimp. Mumbling snow gerbil.
(Much later, Evan's still guessing what it means.)
Evan: Macho surfing guru, right? No? Mucus spewing growth.
(Still, much later...)
Evan: Medieval slut gatherer. Man seeking guacamole. Manatee...
 • Rating: Unrated
Evan: Hi, there. You looking for somebody? Maybe somebody who knows how to surf without perling?
Katie: You got me. I like to base my relationships on surfing technique.
 • Rating: Unrated

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Total Quotes: 7
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