Royal Pains

Royal Pains "Wonderland" Quotes

Amy: Do you have any idea what it's like to be given way more responsibility than you ever asked for? Way more than you ever deserved?
Hank: When I was 12, my mom got sick. My dad, he lost all our money in the stock market, couldn't afford to take care of her. So he gave up, on her, on us and he left. And then our mom died. I know exactly what it's like. Being the older sibling one day and then feeling like a parent the next. You do anything you can to protect the only thing you have left.
 • Rating: Unrated

(at Divya's engagement party)
Divya: (to Hank and Evan) Anyway, I am so glad that you both came...'cause I may need you to stand by with a getaway vehicle.
 • Rating: Unrated

(after Evan gets bitten by a bat)
Evan: So do you think I'm gonna turn into, like, a, an old school Bela Lugosi type or maybe, like, a hip, sexy Twilight vampire with like the (puckers lips and makes kissy face) and, like, the cool hair or what?
 • Rating: Unrated

Evan: If I got bit by a bat, what's gonna happen to me?
Hank: All right. Worst case scenario, you die. Best case scenario, you become immortal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: Remember when I said I was too afraid to go see a doctor?
Hank: Yeah.
Zoey: If I'd known there was a doctor out there like you, I might've found the courage.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: Just know that Evan and I are here to stay, and there's always, always a place for you here with Hankmed, no matter what.
Divya: Well, I appreciate that. And I'll let you know what my future holds, as soon as my parents decide it for me.
Evan: Well, maybe negotiations will still fall apart last minute. Maybe your dad'll raise the dowry to five goats and a donkey and Raj'll call it a deal-breaker.
Divya: Hmm. Maybe you're the donkey.
 • Rating: Unrated

Evan: We're broke.
Hank: What do you mean broke?
Evan: I mean depleted, destitute, insolvent.
Hank: I was asking for an explanation, not a thesaurus.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: You never assumed I was crazy. Gave me the benefit of the doubt. Most people wouldn't have, Hank.
Hank: Yeah, well, more people should be like us. And less people should be like most people.
 • Rating: Unrated

Divya: You want to do the spinal tap tonight?
Hank: And that's not all I want to do. There may be only one way to get to the bottom of this immediately.
(Divya and Evan at the same time)
Divya: MRI?
Evan: Exorcism?
 • Rating: Unrated

Evan: So that's a long island iced tea.
Amy: House specialty. I make them every day for family cocktail hour.
Evan: Really?
Zoey: Apparently, spirits calm the spirits.
 • Rating: Unrated

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