Scrubs Season 4 Episode 7: "My Common Enemy" Quotes
Dr. Kelso: Perry, what's our plan of attack?
Dr. Cox: When I crush a person's spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.
Dr. Kelso: I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves!
Dr. Cox: Aha.
Janitor: I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason. If I could find them I'd show ya.
J.D.: Well how would you feel if I hooked up with one of your siblings?
Elliot: A little confused considering I have four brothers. But not surprised - at you or Barry.
Dr. Kelso: I got you a little present for your trip to Mexico, it's my old Spanish to English dictionary, I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Molly: Gracias seor!
Dr. Kelso: You're welcome-o.
Dr. Cox: Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the Earth is full of people who are deep down filled with kindness and caring!
Dr. Kelso: Well that's absurd, people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
Dr. Cox: Exactly!
Dr. Cox: I hate you, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Same times a thousand, big guy.
Carla: Turk! We just got invited to Linda's Jack & Jill bridal shower. Do you mind if I use your diabetes to get out of it?
Turk: Of course not, baby! And now... it's bat-killing time!
Dan: Hey! I can't find my Dido CD!
J.D.: If my heart could write songs, they'd sound like these.
Was she always wearing that big hat?
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Lady, stop cryin'!
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Clock, you don't have to miss your wedding. I was lying about shift-switching. I like doing it, I like saying it - shift-switching. And I only lied because we were trying to destroy your morale.
Molly: Why would you do that?
Dr. Cox: Well, in our defense, you're overly cheery and we were bored.
Dr. Kelso: And we've broken her! There sits a dejected a woman, all alone, wounded, vulnerable...
Dr. Cox: Crying.
Dr. Kelso: She's ruining it for me.
Turk: Look, baby, before you get freaked out, I fixed it already. Look!
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Turkleton! I wanted to offer you that job once more!
Carla: I don't want it!
Dr. Kelso: Great! See you Saturday, bat-man.
Turk: Baby, what the hell!
Turk: Carla, we have to talk.
Carla: Is it your blood sugar again? I'll get you something!
She grabs Ted's ice cream sandwich out of his hand.
Turk: Baby, I feel fine. It's just that I kinda been using my diabetes to get you to, you know, hook me up with sandwiches and whatnot.
Carla: I can't believe you!
She grabs the treat away from Turk and hurls it into the trash.
Ted: Oh, man! I brought that from home!
