Scrubs Season 2 Episode 13: "My Philosophy" Quotes
Turk: All right, Ralphie, new tack: I want you to do what I do, okay? I want you to imagine that there are tiny men inside your booty, trying to push the dookie. Push the dookie out, Ralphie! Can you imagine that for me?
J.D.: That Mrs. Larkin's an aggressive lady. She wouldn't even let her husband finish a sentence-
Dr. Cox: Oh, shut the hell up, would you please? At least she's ballsy, unlike that husband who's the overly thoughtful, sensitive type that drive me crazy.
Dr. Kelso: This hospital has always had a co-ed locker room. Ahhh, back when I was a resident, I remember blah-blah-blah, nostalgic story. Now get the hell out of my office!... Not you, Ted... Ted, get the hell out of my office!
Ted: Oh, thank God.
J.D.: Trust me, I wouldn't want to have to make this decision.
Mr. Larkin: I wish I could ask my wife. She'd be better at handling this than me.
J.D.: You know, you and I are a lot alike. We may seem like the kind of guy you can just, you know, throw in a head-lock and draw a mustache on... but, in crunch time, we always come through
Elliot: Plus, according to county statue, all medical facilities in this region are required to provide single-sex bathrooms and change-rooms for their employees. Put that in your suggestion box and smoke it!
Dr. Kelso: Dammit. Where'd she learn all that legal mumbo-jumbo?
Elaine: I'm not afraid of death. I mean, if I got a heart, that would be great. Still, if they told me it was never gonna happen, I think that'd be okay, too. It's the waiting I can't take. I just wanna know one way or the other, you know?
Dr. Cox: I got an idea: Why don't we switch to a cheerier subject!
J.D.: What do you think death is like?
Elaine: I really hope it's like a big Broadway musical. Everyone's all dressed up and singing to the rafters, and you go out with a real flourish.
Turk: Will you marry me?
Carla: What did you say?
Turk: I think I said, "Will you marry me?"
Carla: Turk, wow!
Turk: I got a ring. Um... I don't have it on me, but, uh... it's in a safe place.
Carla: I can't believe this! I- I've imagined you saying this to me like a thousand times... I just never imagined that when you actually asked, all I would say is... I need to think.
Turk: Cool! Uh... Yeah, whew! That's-that's-that's-that's what I was hoping to hear!
