Scrubs Season 3 Episode 14: "My Screw Up" Quotes
Jordan: The only reason we invited you is because for some reason you have your own Sponge-Bob Squarepants costume!
J.D.: It was a gift.
J.D.'s narration: From me to me!
What's the matter with you there, Sheila? You look like Maybeline just went belly up!
Dr. Cox
J.D.'s Narration: Guilt's a funny thing. It can lead to denial.
Dr. Cox: Kid screwed up.
Ben: No he didn't. He told you he has way too many patients, he's swamped.
Dr. Cox: The kid screwed up.
Ben: Okay. Darn kid!
Carla: Oh, thank god you're here. I totally need someone to talk to. Usually I would talk to Dr. Cox, but he's out doing stuff. Course there is always Laverne, but I'm kind of her boss. And I like to avoid getting too up close and personal with staff members who work below me.
Dr. Kelso: As do I.
Ted: Sir, I think I figured out how my problem affects one of your loved ones. It affects me.
Dr. Kelso: Swing and a miss.
J.D.: So you would be a butt-face?
Elliot: That would be a funny nickname.
Turk: No it wouldn't.
J.D.: Yes it would. God, how long does it take, to fill a bottle of pills! I'm sorry Madeline. I hope we didn't wake you. It's just that I have fifty patients and I... That's a code.
Turk: Watch I'm going to get out of this mole thing.
Elliot: Whatever, Butt-face.
Turk: Uncool.
Plastic Surgeon: Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. So who wants what, bigger or smaller?
Carla: My fiancé would like to have his mole removed.
Plastic Surgeon: That? That's cute. It's like a tickle button.
Turk: No it's not. It needs to go away.
Ben: Hey J.D. My sister Danni is more of a gentle kisser, don't you think? But I find Jordan is loaded more along the lines of teeth and tongue.
J.D.: Would you please stop it?
Ben: Fangs.
Dr. Cox: Ah Newbie. Perfect timing. I have to run a hundred fifty dollars down to the police station cause Mr. Jinkies the Juggler, who Jordan just has to have to for Jack's birthday party, just got a DUI.
Ben: Yeah!
Dr. Cox: Only me. Long story short. Your new job is to take young Ben here by the hand and run every hematological screening test that we have.
J.D.: Dr. Cox I can't. I'm already covering for Doug. He's on a His-and-Her-Spa-Day with his mom.
Mr. Taylor: So should I be worried about the old ticker?
J.D.: Oh Mr. Taylor. Let me worry about that for you.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh my god! He's gonna die!
Turk: Okay you know what? Maybe it would be better if you focused on how you are doing this for Sean. I mean if there was something about me physically that bothered Carla, I would be excited to fix it for her. I mean it would probably make our relationship even better. And more...
Carla: I hate your mole.
Turk: What?
Carla: What?
Turk: Baby you said it was your tickle button. You made me shave my mustache.
Carla: That was before I knew what was under there.
YEAH! I AM THE KING OF GAY CHICKEN!
Ben
