Carrie: I've been giving this peeing thing a lot of thought, and while I think it's totally fine that that's what you're into, it's just never really been my thing.
Bill Kelley: Oh yeah?
Carrie: So I thought instead, maybe you could close your eyes and I could dribble warm tea on you. That might feel good. Or maybe you might think it's fun to hear the sound of running water when we have sex. And, if things got really serious between us, I could maybe even leave the bathroom door open sometime. Although honestly I'm really not sure how comfortable I would be with that either.

Samantha: You shop at the Boy's Department.
Jeff: So what? The clothes fit me better, plus they're cheaper. Where do you shop, the Big and Tall Horse Store?
Samantha: Hmmhmm. You know, you're nothing but a big dick with a little man attached.
Jeff: You're nothing but a big pair of tits with too much extra leg room.
Samantha: (Bursts into laughter)
Carrie: (voiceover) Surprisingly, Samantha had found what she was really looking for, and it had nothing to do with size.
Jeff: Hey! Somebody get me a booster chair!
Carrie: (voiceover) She had found a man who made her laugh. They dated for two weeks. Though he was short, it was a very long relationship for Samantha.

Steve: You're the best woman I've ever met. And I wanted you to know that. I love you, Miranda. I really do.
Carrie(voiceover): Suddenly, Steve had just verbalized the one big pro that outweighed all the cons.

I figured we made a good match. I was adept at fashion; he was adept at politics. And really, what's the difference? They're both about recycling shop-worn ideas and making them seem fresh and inspiring.


Carrie: Is there anything you want or need that I'm not doing?
Bill Kelley: No... well, maybe one thing.
Carrie: What?
Bill Kelley: Well, I would love to get you in the shower.
Carrie: Mmhmm.
Bill Kelley: And get each other all fresh and clean.
Carrie: Well that sounds nice.
Bill Kelley: And then...let you pee on me.

I'm glad you three weren't around during the original thirteen colonies. I don't think our founding fathers were very fuckable.


Bill Kelley: Can I talk to you about proposition 114?
Carrie: What is that?
Bill Kelley: You and me in the bedroom.

Samantha: Look, sometimes for the right guy you have to make concessions. There's always gonna be something.
Carrie: Are you guys seriously advocating that I do this?
Samantha: Why not? He's a great looking, rich, political prince.
Carrie: Oh sure! It's practically a fairy tale, the princess and the pee.

Miranda: I would be very worried if I were you. The pee could just be foreplay.
Carrie: Oh, my God!
Miranda: Where there's smoke, I'm just saying....
Samantha: This is so typical of men in power. They just love to be dominated and humiliated.
Charlotte: What did you say when he asked you?
Carrie: Well I told him that I'd just gone, but maybe another time. But I really don't think that I can keep saying that forever.

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