I appreciate the thought girls, but I just do not have the energy for a threesome.

What is every bastard who has ever lived, have in common? His father is a bastard and he never broke the cycle. Break the cycle.

Judge [to Stanley]

Michelle: I love this song
Stanley: I love you too.

You know what your problem is? You don't appreciate what I do for you.


Michelle: Is this dress too slutty for a private school?
Stanley: No. Just slutty enough, I say.

Stanley's Dad: You don't get off on stitching small animals together do you?
Stanley: No.
Stanley's Dad: Well, keep your hands off my beer.

Stanley's Dad: 7:45 and in the shower. And you thought the trombone was stupid.

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