I was trying to tackle a man and ended up dropping 300 lbs. on your surgically repaired spine.

Lucero

• Permalink: I was trying to tackle a man and ended up dropping 300 lbs. on y...
• Added: March 13, 2013

It's amazing to think that for every one of these people there's a pair of disappointed parents.

Lucero

• Permalink: It's amazing to think that for every one of these people there's...
• Added: March 13, 2013

How can you be dead for nine months an nobody notices?

Cooper

• Permalink: How can you be dead for nine months an nobody notices?
• Added: March 13, 2013

Ben: Pretty good gig.
Sammy: Yeah, until some bad ass starts shooting up the neighborhood.

• Permalink: Pretty good gig. Yeah, until some bad ass starts shooting up ...
• Added: March 13, 2013

No better birth control than having a screaming baby around.

Reuben

• Permalink: No better birth control than having a screaming baby around.
• Added: March 13, 2013

I miss it. Morons most of all.

Hicks

• Permalink: I miss it. Morons most of all.
• Added: March 13, 2013

There's a common saying among LAPD officers. Leave your job in your locker with your badge and your uniform. It's easier said than done.

Narrator

• Permalink: There's a common saying among LAPD officers. Leave your job in y...
• Added: March 13, 2013