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Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.


(To a box of expensive shoes she's about to take back)
Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!

Leonard: Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon.
Sheldon: I knew I should've given my pope the jet pack.

I can't do this anymore. I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic School!


She never even got to see my penis. Ta-da!


My recommendation is that you gobble these up like Tic Tacs.


Nothing rhymes with orange. It's probably lonely.


Commence operation "Priya Wouldn't Wanna Be-ya"


Amy: Good news: the wildebeest is in the curry.

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