The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Wolowitz: Okay! Let me just go inside and slip off my underwear.
Leonard: Why?
Wolowitz: Well if I get lucky, I certainly don't want to be caught in my Aquaman briefs.
Leonard: I just don't get what she sees in Stuart, we're practically the same guy
Sheldon: ...Stuart is taller, artistic, self employed, and most importantly, gets 45% off comic books
Penny [to comic book store owner]: What would you recommend as a gift for a 13 year old boy?
Stuart: A thirteen year old girl
Penny [at comic book store]: Everyone's staring at me!
Leonard: Don't worry, they're more scared of you than you are of them
Penny: Unlikely
Raj: The Wolowitz coefficient?
Wolowitz: Neediness times dress size squared
Leonard: But we all agreed the third Thursday of every month will be "Anything Can Happen Thursday"
Sheldon: Apparently the news didn't reach my digestive system, which when startled has it's own version of "Anything Can Happen Thursday"
Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.
Listen to that! "Stomp, stomp, stomp." It's Wolowitz and his stacked heels that fool no one.
Sheldon
Sheldon [looking for musical instrument in new neighbor's boxes]: Do those sound like castanets to you?
Leonard: The box says "kitchen."
Sheldon: So? Do cocaine smugglers write "cocaine" on the box?
Wolowitz [to Penny in sweats]: Penny, Let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number?
Raj [referring to making Penny Blossoms]: You know if I wanted to do this on a Saturday night, I would have stayed in India
Wolowitz: Drop the third world country act. Your father was a gynecologist and you had a houseful of servants
Raj: We only had four servants and two of them were children
Penny: It looks like the MySpace page of a 13 year old girl
Leonard: No it doesn't
Wolowitz: Oh please, Dateline could use it to attract predators
