The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
I am not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended
Sheldon
Raj: I'll tell you what, how about we go rock-paper-scissors?
Sheldon: Eww, I don't think so. Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, players familiar with each other tie 75-80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest "rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock"
Penny: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
Leonard: You don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a super villain
Raj: We now have the address of the Top Model house.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street View—registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Wolowitz: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
I trusted you with my e-mail address, and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banality.
Sheldon [to Penny]
Penny: Wait, Sheldon. This has gotten way out of hand. Okay, I've done some stupid things; you've done some stupid things. How about we just call it even and move on with our lives?
Sheldon: I've done no stupid things.
Penny: Look, you've got to meet me half way here.
Sheldon: I am meeting you half-way. I'm willing to concede that you've done some stupid things
Leonard: Put it on the agenda.
Sheldon: You have to make a motion to put it on the agenda.
Leonard: Oh, I'll make a motion, but you're not going to like it
Sheldon: The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure to put a man on the moon.
Wolowitz: Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
Raj: And a large number of people will believe it never happened
Leonard: Just apologize to him, okay?
Penny: What? I'm not going to apologize to that nut-case.
Leonard: Come on, it's easy. He'll even tell you what to say
Wolowitz: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Wolowitz: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton
Ramona: You're not going to Halo night
Sheldon: Yes, I am. It's Wednesday. Wednesday's Halo night.
Ramona: Didn't a great man once say, "Science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives"?
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?
Penny [after witnessing Sheldon and Ramona together]: You probably don't want to go in there.
Leonard: Why? What are they doing?
Penny: The only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls
