I want to leave quietly, it seemed dignified. But having Kevin grind up on my front, while Erin pretended to hump me from behind, it was a more accurate tribute to my years here. I'm gonna miss these guys.

Darryl

Not enough for me? You are everything.

Jim (to Pam)

Dwight: You're a good assistant Jim.
Jim: Not as good as you.
Dwight: That's very true. Get the hell out of here.

Dwight: We're third cousins, which is great for bloodlines and isn't technically incest.
Jim: Right in the sweet spot.

The two of you would move to my 16 hundred acre estate, which let's face it, is a big step up from living in a gay man's closet.

Dwight

Anyone who needs to speak to me has gotta go through me first.

Dwight

Get upstairs mister!

Erin (to Daryl)

By two o'clock Dwight will choose himself to be the assistant to his own assistant, me.

Jim

Pete: Plop? Still?
Dwight: We owe Andy that much.

If my parents see this, I am toast.

Creed

On this show, all three judges are mean.

Andy

Saddle shoes with denim? I will literally call protective services.

Oscar
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

The Office Season 9 Episode 22 Quotes

I'd like to get harmful steam, but the prices are absurd.

Dwight

It's not the KGB, but it's a start.

Dwight
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