I want to leave quietly, it seemed dignified. But having Kevin grind up on my front, while Erin pretended to hump me from behind, it was a more accurate tribute to my years here. I'm gonna miss these guys.


Not enough for me? You are everything.

Jim (to Pam)

Dwight: You're a good assistant Jim.
Jim: Not as good as you.
Dwight: That's very true. Get the hell out of here.

Dwight: We're third cousins, which is great for bloodlines and isn't technically incest.
Jim: Right in the sweet spot.

The two of you would move to my 16 hundred acre estate, which let's face it, is a big step up from living in a gay man's closet.


Anyone who needs to speak to me has gotta go through me first.


Get upstairs mister!

Erin (to Daryl)

By two o'clock Dwight will choose himself to be the assistant to his own assistant, me.


Pete: Plop? Still?
Dwight: We owe Andy that much.

If my parents see this, I am toast.


On this show, all three judges are mean.


Saddle shoes with denim? I will literally call protective services.


The Office Season 9 Episode 22 Quotes

Not enough for me? You are everything.

Jim (to Pam)

I'd like to get harmful steam, but the prices are absurd.