Roy: Hey, remember when we were planning our honeymoon and you wanted to go to Hawaii and I wanted to go to Mexico?
Pam: Yeah.
Roy: I was definitely right.

Roy: [clapping] Mike, you are a rock star, man. You are the man! Well done.
Michael: All right...
Roy: That corporate booty, he likes to hit it!

Dwight: Michael! Michael! There's an emergency in the warehouse.
Michael: There an accident? Somebody hurt?
Dwight: No, it's... involves the photograph.
Michael: Oh. God. No, no, no, no, no.

Angela: OK, we only have three hours people to plan a whole luau, and you're not helping.
Karen: What are the ingredients of poi?
Phyllis: I called every grocery store in Scranton, and no one sells whole pigs.
Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Toby: Hey I need to talk to you right now.
Michael: Not now, not ever.
Toby: About you and Jan.
Michael: Aww, none of your business.
Toby: Wish it were true, but it, it uh, seems from that photo that you took, you've entered into an intimate relationship.
Michael: That photo is my personal property and if you are telling me you went on my computer and stole that photo, then I am going to call the cops.
Toby: Michael, nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife... we don't talk now.
Michael: This is probably the icebreaker you need.
Toby: You know, for your own protection, you should disclose the relationship to HR.
Michael: I bet you would love all the details, wouldn't you? Skeevy little perv.
Toby: All right, if you're having a relationship with your superior, you must disclose it.
Michael: No, no, no. I am not dating Jan. She was very clear about that. Just two like souls having a romantic time in the most romantic place on earth. Got enough, weirdo?
Toby: All right, thanks Michael.
Michael: OK.

Jim: Hey, thanks a lot.
Pam: Oh, don't worry about it. I mean, it's better than listening to Michael play a conch shell... which is what I was doing. Oh, also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan!
Jim: Oh, yeah, How have we not talked about this already? I mean what happened there? Kidnapping?

No, I didn't mind helping Jim with his problem. That's what friends do. I help Phyllis all the time. Just yesterday, I untangled a piece of tape from her hair. So, yeah.


Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey.
Pam: You OK?
Jim: Yeah.
Pam: You sure?
Jim: Yeah. Yes. Um, I'm just in this, like, stupid fight with Karen.
Pam: Oh. You want to talk about it?
Jim: Really?

Jim: Yikes.
Kevin: Already sent it to you my friend.
Jim: Fantastic.
Andy: Boring. Call me if she rolls over.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 15 in total