The Office Season 3 Episode 14: "Ben Franklin" Quotes
Michael: So you don't want to end our relationship?
Jan: I'm closer to firing you.
Michael: That is so sweet. You are the best GD girlfriend in the world. Do you know that?
Jan: I'll talk to you later.
Michael: You are. You are.
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Elizabeth: Oh my God, I would get so fat if I worked here.
Pam: Yeah? I lose my appetite all the time.
Elizabeth: You could strip you know.
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Elizabeth: So where's the groom?
Michael: He's right there. There he is.
Bob Vance: Absolutely not. That's all you. That's all you.
Michael: Okay. Alright, I'll do it. Yeah. Lets do it. Lets do this thing. Yeah. What do I?
Elizabeth: Just sit on down.
Elizabeth: Here we go.
Michael: Here we go. Alright!
Michael: Not bad! Not bad! You smell nice. Like Tide.
Elizabeth: Mmm, what's that?
Michael: You smell like Tide detergent. Do you use Tide detergent?
- Permalink: So where's the groom? He's right there. There he is. Absolut...
Michael referred me to a male strip club called Banana Slings. Instead, I called the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania.Jim
- Permalink: Michael referred me to a male strip club called Banana Slings. I...
Ryan: He hasn't even said a word yet. Just giggling.
Michael: [Pokes Ryan with a sex toy] Gotcha, oh! [Phone rings] Yes?
Jim: Are you okay?
Michael: I'm in the, I'm in the sex shop.
Jim: Ah, gotcha.
- Permalink: He hasn't even said a word yet. Just giggling. Gotcha, oh! Y...
Dwight: Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles, no tats. No, TATS. Of course I want-
Jim: Stop. That's disgusting.
Dwight: Leave me alone and get the male stripper.
Dwight: I knew you would, Nancy.
Dwight: No preference, what do you think redhead or brunette?
Dwight: Nice. Do you have any blonde women?
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Michael: Okay. We are off. Ryan and I are going to go get some supplies and I need you to handle hiring the strippers.
Jim: Absolutely not.
Dwight: I'm on it.
Michael: Well get on it. And make it happen.
- Permalink: Okay. We are off. Ryan and I are going to go get some supplies a...
Pam: Everything okay?
Jim: Oh yeah. Why?
Pam: Well you seem a little tired.
Jim: Oh. Yeah well, I guess there's been a couple late nights. Karen and I have been up talking.
Pam: You should get more sleep.
Jim: Yeah, I know I should.
Pam: Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.
Jim: No, I'm sure you're right.
Pam: When I get eight hours, compared to like six hours, like, big difference.
Pam: Oh yeah. Gotta get your REM cycle going with the whole sleeping. Better than not.
Jim: Good advice Beesley. Thanks. See you out there.
Pam: Yeah. Don't fall asleep at your desk.
- Permalink: Hey. Hey. Ugh. Ugh. Everything okay? Oh yeah. Why? W...
Packer: Halpert! Tall, queer, handsome as ever. Hey everybody it's me, Jim. Hello, hello. Todd Packer.
Karen: Karen Fillipelli. Jim's girlfriend.
Packer: Shut up!
Packer: Shut it!
Karen: That's rude.
Packer: Either this chick is a dude or Halpert got scared straight!
Michael: Yes. Yes! Oh! There-oh! [Clutches chest and falls to the floor]
Packer: What happened?
Michael: Oh God-
Packer: Quick somebody help! Help the man! [Pretends to kick Michael]
Michael: No, no, no!
- Permalink: Halpert! Tall, queer, handsome as ever. Hey everybody it's me, J...
Something's up with Jim and Karen. Not that I've been eavesdropping. It's not really any of my business, but I've gotten pretty good at reading the back of Jim's neck.Pam
- Permalink: Something's up with Jim and Karen. Not that I've been eavesdropp...
Karen: I guess Jim and I have had a little bit of a rough patch for the past couple weeks but we had some really good talks and actually now I think that we're better than ever.
[cut to Jim]
Jim: Karen and I had a long talk last night and the night before that and uh, every night, for the last five nights.
- Permalink: I guess Jim and I have had a little bit of a rough patch for the...
Michael: And remember no matter what, I will always love you.
Dwight: What if he's a murderer?
Michael: He's not going to be a murderer.
Dwight: Maybe that's how you die.
Michael: You know what, Dwight, do you want to do this, or no?
Dwight: I want to do this.
Michael: Okay. From the top. Ready? Three-
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Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.
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I don't care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.Dwight
- Permalink: I don't care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I...