The Office

The Office "Blood Drive" Quotes (Page 3)

Oscar: [re: Andy] He made non-refundable deposits on his honeymoons, so he's just knocking them off one at a time. I think today he's hot air ballooning and later he's got a couple's massage.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: A week later a friend of mine calls me up, and he says "I just saw him in a gay bar in Kansas City."
Michael: Well then it's a happy ending, because he was gay. You should call him!
Angela: My worst breakup was actually two breakups. Two different men. I was in love with both of them and when things went bad they had a duel over me.
Oscar: Yeah, Dwight and Andy. We were here.
Angela: No, this was years ago when I was living in Ohio. John Mark and John David.
Oscar: Angela, you had two sets of different men actually duel over you?
Angela: I guess I have. Huh.
Michael: Alright who's next? Where's Andy?
Oscar: He's on one of his honeymoons.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: Do you risk telling him how you feel? Do you say something that you can barely admit to yourself?
Angela: Oh God, what did you do? I mean, not that I approve of any of it but...
Oscar: I was stupid, I told him.
Kevin: Was he in to you in like a gay way?
Michael: Moron, if he was there wouldn't be a story.
Oscar: He told me he wasn't gay
Michael: Really sad.
Oscar: I'm not done yet.
Michael: Oh my God.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Jim uses a 6 pound ball.
Jim: That is a lie, that is a lie.
Pam: Yes, he bowled 5 frames with this pink sparkly thing until a little girl had to ask for her ball back.
Jim: But! That girl must've had monstrous hands because the holes fit.
Pam: No, you just have little dainty fingers.
Bob: Oh yeah. You can always model ladies' jewelry.
Jim: Nobody asked, Bob!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bob: Everyone here who's bowled a 280 please raise your hand. [Bob does so]
Jim: No way, a 280?
Pam: Wow, that's impressive.
Phyllis: Okay. Now everyone here who's bowled under 70 raise their hand.
Jim: Yikes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Well here we all are. Alone but together. No flowers for us. Relationships, we don't need no stinking relationships. I think we should all go around and tell our worst relationship story, and then get past it, just blow through it, yeah? Kelly, what about Ryan? He treated you pretty terribly, yeah?
Kelly: Well, his heart was in the right place.
Michael: Yeah, but now his heart is in Thailand along with the rest of his body having random sex. Okay, sorry, let's, who else? Oscar.
Oscar: I don't think so.
Michael: Come on, I'm sure there's something you need to get off your chest.
Oscar: I can't.
Michael: If you wanna just, anything? Are you sure? I'm sure whatever you did it wasn't your fault. OK well, who else?
 • Rating: Unrated

Phyllis: It is so nice to go out with another couple.
Pam: Anything to get out of that office.
Phyllis: I know.
Bob: I honestly don't know how you can work with that jackass, that other jackass, and that new jackass.
Phyllis: He's talking about Michael, Dwight, and Andy.
Jim: Yeah, I understood.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Yick.
Blood Girl: What?
Michael: I looked at the bag.
Blood Girl: Ew.
Michael: I looked straight at the bag.
Blood Girl: That's not good.
Michael: Could you distract me for a second, just talk about things that don't have blood in them?
Blood Girl: Well, ok... bags! Alright, that was bad.
Michael: That was mean.
Blood Girl: Um, a hat.
Michael: A hat.
Blood Girl: A hat with no blood in it?
Michael: That is full of soup.
Blood Girl: You're cute.
Michael: What?
 • Rating: Unrated

Phyllis: Hey, why don't you guys come have lunch with Bob and me? We'll take all afternoon. [whispering] Michael is terrified of Bob.
Pam: What do you think?
Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren't gonna sweep themselves.
Pam: We're in.
 • Rating: Unrated

Blood Drive Worker: Just relax.
Michael: Yup, I'm good, whew. Wow, I feel like a human juice box. Hawaiian blood punch.
Blood Girl: Oh, that's gross.
Michael: Type O-Ocean Spray.
Blood Girl: God, stop. Stop it.
 • Rating: Unrated

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