Roy: Are they going to call the cops?
Kenny: No, I paid them off.
Roy: Jet ski money?
Kenny: All of it.
Roy: I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert.

David: What's, uh, what's with Jan and Michael?
Jim: I don't know. Where to begin? My ball.

Student 1: Hey Creed.
Creed: Hey! What are you guys doing here?
Student 2: You're the man buddy.

Karen: Hey, do you see that guy behind you in the blue blazer against the wall?
Jim: Yep.
Karen: That's Drake. And just so you know, I don't want to be weird or anything, but we use to date.
Jim: Oh, ok. Cool. Thanks for telling me.
Karen: And it didn't end well.
Jim: Gotcha. Alright.

Dwight: Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica?
Dan Gore: No.
Dwight: No? Then you are an idiot.

Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God. What am I saying?

Jan

Jan: What's this over the "i"?
Michael: It's a heart.

Oh, you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.

Dwight

Pam: Oh, that duck is so cute.
Kevin: Hey Pam.
Pam: Hey guys.
Kevin: Oscar. Angela.

Michael: Beauty. Thank you sir!
Dwight: Salad.
Michael: Thank you.
Dwight: You dressed exactly like the servants.
Michael: Shut up. Ok, change shirts with me.
Dwight: Wait. I don't think yours will fit me.
Michael: I don't care. Oh, wow. Here. Don't put my jacket. Don't give me that.
Dwight: That would have been really embarrassing.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Crisis averted.
Michael: Ok.

I have decided that I'm going to be more honest. I'm going to tell people what I want. Directly. So, look out world, cause ol' Pammy is getting what she wants. And, don't call me Pammy.

Pam

Pam: Hey, Michael left early, so a bunch of us are going to go to Poor Richard's for happy hour. You should come.
Roy: I can't. My brother, he just unloaded the jet ski's and kinda took a bath, so... we're going to go get hammered.
Pam: Ok, well, we're going to a bar. Hey. You have to come to stuff with me. If you're going to be my boyfriend, you have to do boyfriend things.
Roy: Ok.

The Office Season 3 Episode 17 Quotes

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.

I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside... I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse in on myself like a dying star. Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my god, what am I saying?

Jan