The Office

The Office "Cocktails" Quotes

Roy: Are they going to call the cops?
Kenny: No, I paid them off.
Roy: Jet ski money?
Kenny: All of it.
Roy: I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert.
 • Rating: Unrated

David: What's, uh, what's with Jan and Michael?
Jim: I don't know. Where to begin? My ball.
 • Rating: Unrated

Student 1: Hey Creed.
Creed: Hey! What are you guys doing here?
Student 2: You're the man buddy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Karen: Hey, do you see that guy behind you in the blue blazer against the wall?
Jim: Yep.
Karen: That's Drake. And just so you know, I don't want to be weird or anything, but we use to date.
Jim: Oh, ok. Cool. Thanks for telling me.
Karen: And it didn't end well.
Jim: Gotcha. Alright.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica?
Dan Gore: No.
Dwight: No? Then you are an idiot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jan: Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God. What am I saying?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jan: What's this over the "i"?
Michael: It's a heart.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Oh, you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Pam: Oh, that duck is so cute.
Kevin: Hey Pam.
Pam: Hey guys.
Kevin: Oscar. Angela.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Beauty. Thank you sir!
Dwight: Salad.
Michael: Thank you.
Dwight: You dressed exactly like the servants.
Michael: Shut up. Ok, change shirts with me.
Dwight: Wait. I don't think yours will fit me.
Michael: I don't care. Oh, wow. Here. Don't put my jacket. Don't give me that.
Dwight: That would have been really embarrassing.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Crisis averted.
Michael: Ok.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "Cocktails?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!