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It's Michael versus Stanley, and it is the clash of the titans. In one corner, you have Michael, and he is mad. And then, in the other corner, you have Stanley, and he's mad. So that's about it!

Kevin

I'd say all the goofing around at Pam's desk, and, and hanging out with Pam, has finally caught up to him... w-with Pam.

Toby

Michael: Okay, so dig this: you're on the street, and one of your gang disses you.
Darryl: Oh my goodness.
Michael: Yeah, right, so what do you do to get them to make it right?
Darryl: Well see, um... in the gang world, we use something called Fluffy Fingers.
Michael: What is that?
Darryl: That's when somebody really gets in your face, you know, you just... start tickling them.
Michael: Really?
Darryl: Yeah, and then he starts tickling you. You know, pretty soon you're laughing and hugging. Before you know it, you've forgotten the whole thing. Ya'll can just go to church together... get an ice cream cone.
Michael: I would've never thought that gangs would be tickling each other.
Darryl: Well, it's effective.

Darryl: Mike.
Michael: Hey.
Darryl: I'm very busy here, man.
Michael: Darryl, have you ever been in a gang?
Darryl: Why?
Michael: It's an advice question, and if you don't wanna talk about it, I completely understand. It's, um...
Darryl: No, no, no...
Michael: I know, it's very, very personal...
Darryl: No, um... I have.
Michael: I knew it. Okay, who we talking about here? Crips? Bloods?
Darryl: Both.
Michael: God.

Stanley: What.
Michael: I, uh, see that you... gave me that form that I asked you to give me, Stanley the manly, so thank you for that. I guess we are back to normal.
Stanley: What are you talking about?
Michael: Well, you know, uh, the thing that you said earlier, that you didn't mean, um, and that I forgive you for. The whole thing's silly, isn't it? Friends don't need to apologize to friends as far as I'm concerned, so we are cool.
Stanley: I am not going to apologize to you.

You meet a lot of ladies driving an Xterra, because you pull up to a stoplight, and look over and there's an Xterra next to you. They're always driven by chicks, so there's your icebreaker.

Andy

Toby: Can I talk to you a second?
Michael: Ugh, what?
Toby: Uh, I really think that you need to address what happened with Stanley this morning...
Michael: What are you blabbering about? Nothing happened.
Toby: Well, you know, Stanley was openly insubordinate.
Michael: That? In the conference room?
Toby: Yeah.
Michael: We were joshin around, the two of us, and he said "did I stutter," and I said "wha-wha-wha-wha-what, dawg?" It was joking, Toby, alright?
Toby: He didn't seem like he was joking.
Michael: Well you don't get it, because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man, and you're... you. If you had any friends, you would understand.

Michael: All right, everybody... Oh my God, Pam, those make you look so ugly. Um, Pam, in order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction...
Pam: I don't have my contacts...
Michael: Ub, dub dah, don't need, I can't even hear you. It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist.

Andy and Angela seem very happy... I hope nothing horrible ever happens to them.

Dwight

It's like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I'll say it to my next one, too.

Stanley

A lot of jazz cats are blind. But they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless.

Creed
Displaying all 11 quotes

The Office Season 4 Episode 12 Quotes

It's like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I'll say it to my next one, too.

Stanley

A lot of jazz cats are blind. But they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless.

Creed