Jim: [re: Dwight's award] It is literally the highest possible honor that a northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-size paper company regional salesman can attain.

Michael: Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast.
Pam: Um, the bride doesn't... Have you ever been to a wedding?

I'm very sorry, I did not know you were wearing a hearing aid. I thought you were just speaking abnormally.


When I was in the 6th grade, I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. And I mispelled, in front of the entire school, the word 'failure.'


You are so lucky you don't have this problem Jim. What was the ninth place prize again, a loaf of bread?


Dwight, The key to being a good public speaker is waving your arms in the air and pounding your fists on the table. A lot.


Jim: Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Dwight: I CAN travel anywhere, except Cuba, and I WILL travel to New Zealand and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and I will hike Mount Doom.

Pam, I'm public speaking, so please stop public interrupting me.


Dwight's Speech: BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? Not only the years we've been at war - the war of work - but from the moment as a child, when we realize that the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle, a never-ending fight, I say to you, and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! Salesmen of Northeastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself! Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They'll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesman - and women - of the world... unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND...

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