The Office Season 5 Episode 19: "Golden Ticket" Quotes
Michael: OK, you know what? You came up with this idea. I remember you told me that you loved the Willy Wonka movie when you were growing up.
Michael: Yes, you did.
Dwight: I wasn't given candy as a child, so a movie that fetish-ized it that much, would have made no sense to me. Plus, we weren't allowed to see movies. So... do the math.
- Permalink: OK, you know what? You came up with this idea. I remember you to...
Dwight: Wasn't my idea. Loved it - but I can't.
Michael: Wait a second, wait a second, I wrote it down in my diary.
Dwight: You don't keep a diary.
Michael: Yes I do. You've just never seen it. [reading from diary] March 4th. Dwight came up with the best idea today about golden tickets.
Dwight: Hold that thought. [Dwight gets up and gets own diary from desk and returns] March... 4th. Michael Scott came up with golden ticket idea to give five customers 10 perfect off for one year.
Michael: Why do you have a diary?
Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.
- Permalink: Wasn't my idea. Loved it - but I can't. Wait a second, wait a ...
Michael: Come on in. Good to see ya, have a seat. I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden ticket idea.
Dwight: That was your idea.
Michael: Woah, wow, who told you that?
Dwight: You did. Several times. Over and over again.
- Permalink: Come on in. Good to see ya, have a seat. I just wanted to congra...
Michael: You're breaking up.
Michael: OK, I think, it might have been an inside consultant.
David: Was it the sales department?
David: Was it Jim?
David: OK, was it Dwight?
Michael: [long pause] Yes.
- Permalink: You're breaking up. Michael? OK, I think, it might have been...
Michael: [on phone] Hello David. I just got back from my procedure, so-
David: Michael, what the hell is going on here?
Michael: How are you doing?
David: Fine. What is going on?
Michael: [reading from computer] My colonoscopy was an examination of my large colon and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera.
David: Why did you OK this golden ticket idea? We're going to lose a fortune, Michael. How could you let this happen?
Michael: Well, there is an explanation that involves me not letting it happen and I just don't... I don't know.
David: How could you not know Michael?
Michael: I think we might have hired an outside marketing consultant.
- Permalink: Hello David. I just got back from my procedure, so- Michael, w...
Michael: I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy, so -
Jim: So, well I lost a ton of money today and I have a mortgage, so I'm a little pissed too.
Michael: Thank you, Jim is with me.
Jim: Absolutely not, I'm mad at you.
Michael: Well you know what Jim? It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.
Creed: That's not why.
- Permalink: I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas...
Michael: Nobody panic. The good news is... they can't fire all of us, right?
Oscar: They can.
Michael: No, they can't.
Oscar: Yes, they can.
Michael: Oscar, you don't know what the hell you are talking about.
Oscar: Michael, what do you think shutting down a branch is?
Michael: Alright, then we're screwed.
- Permalink: Nobody panic. The good news is... they can't fire all of us, rig...
When Michael's skirting a phone call, he gave me a list of places to say he is. 'Stopping a fight in the parking lot.' 'An Obama fashion show.' Whatever... that is. Or 'trapped in an oil painting.' I'm gonna save that one.Pam
- Permalink: When Michael's skirting a phone call, he gave me a list of place...
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh hi, David. [Michael shakes his head] No, I'm sorry he's not back from the Civil Rights rally. I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial.Pam
- Permalink: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh hi, David. No, I'm sorry he's n...