Michael: [eating pretzel] It tastes so good in my mouth.
Stanley: That's what she said.

Pam: What time is it there?
Jim: What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.
Pam: Uh, oh, yeah, right.
Jim: How far away did you think we were?
Pam: I don't know. It felt far.
Jim: Yeah.

Ryan: They really didn't like me.
Dwight: They did not. But they didn't have to say it to your face.

[to Ryan] When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you.


[to Ryan] You have walked the long lonely walk of loneliness.


Will Ryan become a slacker, loser, wise ass like Jim or will he join the Dwight Army of Champions?


Dwight: Why did Robert Mifflin commit suicide?!
Ryan: Um... he was depressed.
Dwight: Wrong! He hated himself! What ... is the DHARMA Initiative?!

Only 364 days until the next pretzel day.


I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day.


Kelly: Dwight's a freak!

Dwight: Just as you have planted your seed into the ground, I will plant my seed into you.
Ryan: I don't think you realize what you're saying.

Michael always says "K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid." Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.


The Office Season 3 Episode 5 Quotes

Dwight: What is Michael Scott's greatest fear?
Ryan: Loneliness... maybe women.
Dwight: Wrong. Michael Scott isn't afraid of anything. [pause] Also, I would have accepted "snakes."

Dwight: Just think, that temp agency could have sent you anywhere!
Ryan: I think about that all the time.