The Office Season 5 Episode 15: "Lecture Circuit (Part 2)" Quotes
Michael: Who have I wronged? Who have I wronged? Oh, oh! What about that fat guy from Stamford that I insulted? We should find him!
Pam: You mean Tony?
Michael: Java the hut, Pizza the hut, Fat guys like pizza, pepperoni pizza, pepperoni Tony!
Pam: Oh, Michael.
Michael: Man, was he fat. So, so... fat. You know what, forget it. I know me. When I saw him, I would never be able to apologize to him. Too fat. Big fat fatty.
- Permalink: Who have I wronged? Who have I wronged? Oh, oh! What about that ...
Michael: I feel great. So good to have closure. Ah! We should go apologize to Roy or something.
Pam: No, we don't need to do that.
- Permalink: I feel great. So good to have closure. Ah! We should go apologiz...
Birthday time is over! Now go make up for all the work you missed when you were taking your nap.Dwight
- Permalink: Birthday time is over! Now go make up for all the work you misse...
Pam: It's deleted.
Pam: She still has feelings for you.
Michael: She said that? Is that what it said? What did it say?
Pam: I can't tell you specifically, but... it's not over.
Michael: You're sure?
Pam: [nods and smiles]
Michael: [smiles] Okay.
- Permalink: It's deleted. Well? She still has feelings for you. She sa...
Jim: When I was seven, my Dad took me to the Natural History Museum in New York. And we looked at fossils all day. And at the end of the day, he got me a little plastic triceratops. It was awesome.
Dwight: That's cool. Hey, you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed.
Jim: Didn't see that one coming.
- Permalink: When I was seven, my Dad took me to the Natural History Museum i...
Jim: Look, is there a birthday you remember that you loved?
Dwight: Here's one. It was dark, warm, wet. A sudden burst of light. An intense pressure like I'd never felt before. Father, dressed in white, pulls me forward. Mother bites the cord.
Jim: Okay, stop. Forever stop that story. That's disgusting, and it doesn't count. So give me another one.
Dwight: Schrutes don't celebrate birthdays, idiot. It started as a Depression-era practicality, and then moved on to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year.
- Permalink: Look, is there a birthday you remember that you loved? Here's ...
Jim: Okay, so far, our ideal party consists of beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch football, mating, charades, and yes, horse hunting.
Dwight: You're right, forget horse hunting. It's stupid.
- Permalink: Okay, so far, our ideal party consists of beer, fights to the de...
Pam: No, under no circumstances can you read that letter. It's a violation of her trust.
Pam: Because, she didn't send it to you!
Michael: I know, I know. You're right, you're right.
Pam: I could read it.
Michael: No, that wouldn't-
Pam: Yeah, I could read it.
Michael: No, you don't have to do that.
Pam: Go get your laptop.
Michael: Okay. [leaves to get laptop]
Pam: [to camera] What? I'm not in love with her.
- Permalink: No, under no circumstances can you read that letter. It's a viol...
Michael: Want some pie?
Michael: I went through Holly's things.
Michael: I stole a sleeve of her sweater.
Pam: Oh, Michael...
Michael: I also stole something off of her computer. A document called "Dear Michael."
Pam: You did what?
Michael: I shouldn't have done it. It just- I couldn't help it.
Pam: She never sent it to you?
Michael: No, sh- she didn't. I'm gonna read it.
- Permalink: Want some pie? No. I went through Holly's things. What? ...
I want to get that image out of my head. The psychological issues that go behind licking a cat, are not things I want to go into. Also, I'm pretty sure she coughed up a hairball.Oscar
- Permalink: I want to get that image out of my head. The psychological issue...
Angela: [with cats in background, on Nanny-Cam] Where is that bad cat? Oh, you know who you are. Excuse me, Petals, I'm looking for Mr. Ash. He's a bad cat. Bad, bad cat. Do you hear me? Bad. Yeah, you were bad. No, you look at me when I talk to you. Do you hear me, Mr. Ash? You look at me. 'Cause I'm talking to you right now.
Kevin: This is getting weird.
Oscar: Is she cleaning the cat with her tongue?
- Permalink: Where is that bad cat? Oh, you know who you are. Excuse me, Peta...
[pointing to staff members] Blazer. Freckles. Penguin. K.D. Lang. Holly's boyfriend. These mnemonic devices help to make a connection, and then, also to help you memorize names. I have a chainsaw! [holds up chainsaw, makes a wimpy chain saw noise] Cutting down the competition.Pam
- Permalink: Blazer. Freckles. Penguin. K.D. Lang. Holly's boyfriend. These m...
Want more The Office?
Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!