Dwight: Ah, that baby is just discovering the whole wide world right now.
Jim: It's pretty amazing.
Dwight: What up is, what down is, who mom is. Who dad is. It must be tough being here with all that going on.
Jim: Oh it's tough being here for a lot of reasons.
Dwight: I mean, you're here at work, the baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.
Jim: Is that what happened to you?

Erin and I have our first date tonight. And it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to How I Met Your Mother, that's the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about and you'd better have a good story to tell them.

Andy

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass have been away on maternity leave. But now Tweedle Dumbass is back and we have a problem. Yes, getting hooked on Megadesk was my own damn fault. But [sighs] I don't care about assigning blame. All I care about, is Megadesk. That is all I care about. Getting. More. Megadesk.

Dwight

Meredith: Stop fighting! Just on St. Patrick's Day okay? Just one, perfect day a year. No hassles. No problems. No kids.
Ryan: Why no kids?
Kelly: Yeah where are your kids?
Meredith: Nope. Uh uh. Not today!

Do I really wanna turn out like Gabe? 26. Single. Tied to my desk. No life no family. I want to have been married by the time I would've turned thirty. That's just... that's just depressing.

Michael

Michael: Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen?
Darryl: I impressed her with my good ideas.
Michael: Mm-hmm! Seriously. How'd you do it.
Darryl: I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there...
Michael: How do I put this delicately... Does her family owe your family something? In terms of a past injustice.
Darryl: Now Mike I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So I can learn about this tiny television.

They say, that no man is an island. False. I am an island. And this island, is volcanic. And it is about to erupt, with the molten hot lava... of strategy.

Dwight

It is St. Patrick's Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

Michael

The Office Season 6 Episode 18 Quotes

They say, that no man is an island. False. I am an island. And this island, is volcanic. And it is about to erupt, with the molten hot lava... of strategy.

Dwight

It is St. Patrick's Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

Michael