Jim: Where did you learn all of this?
Prison Mike: Internet.
Jim: So, not prison.
Prison Mike: And prison. Fifty-fifty... both. Look, prison stinks is what I'm saying.

Pam-alam-a-ding-dong. Listen, you're cute. There's no getting around it. So, I don't know if you like country music, but I was thinking that maybe one of these days we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos, maybe even toss around a disc around. Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?

Andy

What was the worst part about prison? The dementors. They flew around and sucked out your soul. and it hurt.

Michael

Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backwards. Baggy pants. He says something ordinary, like 'Yo, that's shizzle.' Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.

Michael

Michael: You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop da soap. Don't drop da soap.
Ryan: Michael, please.

Kinda sounds like prison is better than Dunder Mifflin.

Pam

Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.

Karen: You can't give paper clips to a baby. He might swallow them.
Creed: Oh it's okay, I've got tons of them.

I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because... [whispers] it sounds an awful lot like what I do here... Every. Day.

Kevin

Michael: You show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.
Pam: My dad.
Michael: Danny Glover.

I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.

Dwight

I live to frolf.

Andy
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 17 in total

The Office Season 3 Episode 9 Quotes

Michael: Hey! Look at me! I'm a baby! I'm one of those babies from Look Who's Talking! What am I thinking? Look at all those staplers! What's a stapler? I don't even know- I'm a baby! Hey Mom! I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Momma! I want some milk! And you know where milk comes from: breasts!

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Jim: [picks up phone] Jim Halpert.
Andy: I am so horny.
Jim: Okay, I can't help you with that.
Andy: Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy: Oh, and I care why?
Jim: She's high-maintenance.
Andy: Next. How about... Angela. Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.
Jim: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.

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