The Office

The Office "The Convict" Quotes

Jim: Where did you learn all of this?
Prison Mike: Internet.
Jim: So, not prison.
Prison Mike: And prison. Fifty-fifty... both. Look, prison stinks is what I'm saying.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Andy: Pam-alam-a-ding-dong. Listen, you're cute. There's no getting around it. So, I don't know if you like country music, but I was thinking that maybe one of these days we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos, maybe even toss around a disc around. Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: What was the worst part about prison? The dementors. They flew around and sucked out your soul. and it hurt.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backwards. Baggy pants. He says something ordinary, like 'Yo, that's shizzle.' Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop da soap. Don't drop da soap.
Ryan: Michael, please.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Kinda sounds like prison is better than Dunder Mifflin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Karen: You can't give paper clips to a baby. He might swallow them.
Creed: Oh it's okay, I've got tons of them.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because... [whispers] it sounds an awful lot like what I do here... Every. Day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: You show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.
Pam: My dad.
Michael: Danny Glover.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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