Jim: I think those might be empty.
Pam: No, no, 'cuz the ice melts, and then it's like second drink.

[accepting Dundie for Whitest Shoes] So, um, finally I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie, and I feel God in this Chili's tonight...

Pam

You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.

Pam

Michael: This next award goes to someone who really lights up the office, somebody who I think a lot of us cannot keep from checking out, 'The Hottest in the Office Award', goes to... Ryan the Temp! YEAH! Hey HO! You sexy thing! Sexy thing you! Whoo!
[cut to interview]
Ryan: What am I going to do with the award? Nothing. I don't know what I'm going to do. That's the least of my concerns right now.

Michael: I was on a hot date with a girl from HR, Dwight...
Dwight: Really? We don't have any girls in HR.
Michael: You know for the sake of the story... and things were getting hot and heavy...
Dwight: Yeah!
Michael: And I was about to take her bra off...
Dwight: Yeah!
Michael: And she made me fill out six hours worth of paperwork.
Dwight: Like an AIDS test?
Michael: No. God, Dwight.

Michael: This year's "Busiest Beaver" award goes to Phyllis Lapin!
Phyllis: This says "Bushiest Beaver."
Michael: I told them "Busiest"... idiots.

TMI? — "Too Much Information." Uh, it's just easier to say TMI. I used to say "don't go there," but that's lame. Hey, what ever happened to 'wheres the beef?'? That was funny for a while...

Michael

A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin, I mean who's going to give Kevin an award, Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, "Hey, did you get an award?" And the neighbor will say, "No man. I mean I slave all day and nobody notices me." Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself, due to lack of recognition.

Michael
Displaying all 8 quotes

The Office Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

TMI? — "Too Much Information." Uh, it's just easier to say TMI. I used to say "don't go there," but that's lame. Hey, what ever happened to 'wheres the beef?'? That was funny for a while...

Michael

A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin, I mean who's going to give Kevin an award, Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, "Hey, did you get an award?" And the neighbor will say, "No man. I mean I slave all day and nobody notices me." Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself, due to lack of recognition.

Michael
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