There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.


Andy: Ow, ow!
Tattoo Artist: That was just the cotton swab.
Andy: Invest in softer cotton, sir.

Let's ink my stink!


I guess you could say I'm in one of those ass tattoo incentive situations.


Andy: You think it has anything to do with the incentive program?
Jim: Oh absolutely. People wanna see you tattoo your ass.

Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.

Dwight (to Oscar)
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