Jim: Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.
Pam: You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.

Michael: Do you want me to stop dating your mom? Is that how we're going to get past this, because I will!
Pam: Hmmm. Yes!
Michael: Well that is not gonna happen.
Pam: Then why'd you even offer?

Pam: Maybe I'm overreacting.
Jim: Yeah. Maybe.
Pam: But I don't think I am.
Jim: You're not. No.

That could have gone one of two ways. But I never expected her to get upset.

Michael

[to Michael] You know, I really would've appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would've introduced you to mine.

Dwight

Kevin: Whoa, where'd you get that hat?
Ryan: I'd rather not say.

Toby: Hey Jim!
Jim: Not now Toby! My God!
Michael: Get the hell out of here, idiot.
Toby: [walking away] What did I do?

Jim: Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that. And please, for both of our sakes, never, ever, ever see her again.
Michael: I think you're underestimating Pam. I think more than anything she wants me to be happy.
Jim: No. Not more than anything.
Michael: Ok. I have a good thing with the mom.
Jim: Don't call her the mom.
Michael: She's right on my way home from work.
Jim: THEN TAKE A DIFFERENT WAY HOME MAN!
Michael: Alright! I'll take service streets.

[to Pam] You're just as stubborn as your mom - when you don't want to do something, you just don't do it.

Michael
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