I'm the f*cking lizard king.


Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.


Is it just me, or is our boss a freakin' weirdo?


You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!


Harry: Who the hell are Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute?
Erin: Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

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