The Office

The Office Season 4 Quotes

Season 4 Episode 14: "Goodbye Toby"

Andy: Tuna! I'm engaged!
Jim: I know. That's awesome, man. That's great.
Andy: Mr. Andrew Bernard... got a nice ring to it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: Can I be your bridesmaid?
Angela: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years. Because you don't know when you're gonna meet the right girl and the moment's gonna be right. And tonight, with the fireworks, and the music, and everything... it was right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: My whole life, I have known two things: I love sex, and I want to have kids. And I always thought that those two things would go hand in hand, but now, I think it might be one or the other.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jan: If I was 22, and I had lots of time to have lots of children, then sure, let's let Michael have a shot at one of 'em. But, honestly, I need to make this one count.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Wow, I am so happy. I am so deliriously happy...
Jan: Why?
Michael: Because you're pregnant, and because it obviously happened when we were together. And, I am very...
Jan: Yeah, it did...
Michael: ... proud.
Jan: ... happen when...
Michael: Um...
Jan: ... we were together. That's true. And-but, you... are not... uh, you're not the dad.
Michael: You cheated on me... when I specifically asked you not to?
Jan: ...Not to. No, I did not. I did not cheat on you. I did not.
Michael: Well, okay...
Jan: Yeah.
Michael: So it's mine, and it's not somebody else's, so... I know... the whole toilet seat thing is a myth, so...
Jan: I went to a sperm bank.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jan: Well it was good to see you.
Kevin: It was great to see you, Jan.
Jan: Yeah, so...
Michael: O-kay. Hello Jan.
Jan: Hello... Michael.
Michael: Wow, Kevin, really? We're- [to Jan] Sorry. We're in the middle of a party. Is this why you called me down here?
Kevin: Yeah, Michael, I just uh...
Jan: I...
Kevin: I think you kids have a lot to catch up on.
Michael: Oh, okay.
Kevin: Yeah.
Michael: Thanks, Kevin. Um...
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: [singing] Come tomorrow, feel no pain! Feel no pain! Toby! Toby! Tobee-yy! Toby's goin' away! See ya! He's outta here! See ya! He's outta here! Ohh! Goodbye Toby! Goodbye Toby! Goodbye Toby! Goodbye Tooo-by!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Creed: [from outside the conference room] Hey, it's the kid! Look, look, look, look, look! Hey! It's the temp! Look!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: [leaving a message] Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. Look man, I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you know what? I really don't care, because you're trying to get rid of me. And I bet you don't think I care enough about this job to actually fight back, but you're wrong, because I do, and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place, but guess what? I'm not going anywhere.
 • Rating: Unrated

Holly: Hey Kevin.
Kevin: Hi.
Holly: Do you need some help?
Kevin: I can't decide what to get.
Holly: Well, what do you like to eat?
Kevin: Well I like pretzels, but, I really like chips.
Holly: Hmm. Well how much money do you have there? Okay, let's see... fifty... Oh, this is a button. Okay. 55, 65, okay, you have 75 cents. So, that means you could get anything up in the top row.
Kevin: Hmm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: I am totally gonna bang Holly. She is cute, and helpful, and she really seems into me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: I'm going to propose tonight. Holy crap!
 • Rating: Unrated

Creed: What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. "What do I do?"... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. "Qua" something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual... quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Creed: The pleasure's all mine.
Holly: Oh, thanks. I'm really looking forward to sitting down with you and finding out more about what you do here.
Creed: Any time.
Holly: What do you do here?
Creed: ... Excuse me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Toby: Hey, Stanley...
Stanley: Hmm?
Toby: I want to introduce you to...
Michael: [watching from office] Toby's replacement. Ugh. Wow.
Dwight: So what do we know about her?
Michael: Well, we know that Toby thinks she'll be great. So, strike one, I hate her already.
Dwight: I hate her too.
Michael: Why do you hate her?
Dwight: Because she... stinks... with her... ways... and her... head.
Michael: You know, Dwight, sometimes... I don't know, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Dwight: Would that be such a bad thing?
Michael: Yeah! It would! Just have a thought. Have an original thought. Although, I will agree that her head is weird.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Guess who just got into the Pratt School of Design.
Jim: No way! What did I say? I said that they'd love those sketches. Congratulations!
Pam: Oh, thank you! I don't know why I doubted it, because I'm so clearly awesome!
Jim: Yes! So when do you start?
Pam: I don't know, I didn't read it carefully, I just saw "congratulations" and I skimmed the list, I saw my name, I came in here to tell you and get a snack.
Jim: Wow. Busy morning.
Pam: So, you know it means I have to go to New York for three months...
Jim: It's not a big deal. I'll come visit you. And you'll visit me. It's only two hours away. It'll be fine. That part's gonna suck, but it'll be great.
Pam: Yeah, it sucks, but it'll be great.
Jim: See how easy that is?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Every year, my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for fifty dollars. And lately, she has been sending me, like nine or ten checks a year... uh, as Nana starts to... but, I knew I should be saving it for something, I just didn't know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. "Michael, buy a motorcycle." So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Toby: Good morning, Kelly.
Kelly: I can't believe this is your last day. How do you feel?
Toby: Fine. Good.
Kelly: I feel weird.
 • Rating: Unrated

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