The Office Season 4 Quotes
There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, and at the last minute it hits a wall and bounces away. And we are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.
Jim
And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. They are unreadable. They're just numbers and boring and blech. So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic, like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud? And... when we have a good quarter, fireworks? Or a race car? [crickets] Doesn't have to be a race car. Use your imagination.
Michael
Dwight: Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles?
Angela: Very much. How's your meat?
Dwight: Dry. Delicious.
Angela: I heard a joke today.
Dwight: Oh, that's funny.
Angela: Yes, it was.
Dwight: Are you enjoying your mineral water?
Angela: I can't do this. I can't be with you. Every time I look in your eyes I see Sprinkles' stiff lifeless body.
Ryan: Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.
Michael: I disagree, I think it was very valuable.
Ryan: Michael, technology helps business OK? You should not resist it, this is the way the world is moving.
Michael: I happen to think the old ways of doing business are better. And I can prove it.
Ryan: Ok. I look forward to hearing your ideas.
I'm gonna live for a very long time. My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Manheim is 103, and still puttering around in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.
Dwight
Ryan: Jan.
Jan: Ryan. Ryan. Ryan, Ryan.
Ryan: So elephant in the room, I have your old job.
Jan: Well, not exactly my job... I had a different title.
Ryan: Oh well, excuse me, same office, same responsibilities.
Jan: Different salary. You'll get there, don't worry.
Ryan: Well... you look great.
Jan: Thank you, thank you.
Ryan: Scranton suits you.
Jan: Best decision I ever made.
Ryan: You were let go.
Jan: You know what? I love the beard. Keep it forever.
Kelly: I want you to tell me that you care about me. That is what I want.
Ryan: Kelly, I'm your boss now, OK? You can't keep talking to me like I'm your boyfriend.
Kelly: Oh big strong man, fancy new whatever. I don't think you ever cared about me.
Ryan: I never cared about you? Six months ago Karen Filipelli sent me an email. Asked me out. I said no, because I was committed to our relationship.
Kelly: Well, I hope you're still committed because I'm pregnant.
Phyllis: Wait, uh, how do you touch just one of these buttons at a time?
Stanley: I don't know.
Phyllis: Did you even try?
Stanley: If the kid wants to set mine up, I'll let him.
Phyllis: I can't see half of the things.
Stanley: It's too little. Use the phone.
Ryan: So, how are you?
Kelly: Awesome. I am dating a lot of guys.
Ryan: Good.
Kelly: A lot. Black guys mostly.
Ryan: Kelly...
Kelly: What?!
Ryan: OK, what's up?
Michael: Yeah, kay. I was just... After the presentation, just wanted to make sure, that vis-a-vis, that everything in the office is business as usual?
Ryan: Well it is business, but not as usual.
Michael: Yeah, I know I understand... we're making great strides and we're updating, but business as usual, no?
Ryan: No. We're throwing out the entire playbook, we're starting from scratch, we're implementing a brand new system.
Michael: Good, so, we're on the same page?
Ryan: No. We're not. Michael, I know exactly how much time and man power are wasted in this branch. This company is getting younger, faster, more efficient. You need to prepare yourself
Jim: Swore I wouldn't tell anyone this, but in the interest of revealing secrets. Oh my God, this will make your brain explode. Umm, Dwight and Angela dating. Have been for six months.
Pam: No...
Jim: Swear to God.
Creed: We're screwed.
Michael: Who is?
Creed: Us? You and me. The old timers.
Michael: I am not old. You are old. You are like a hundred.
Creed: You're over 40, that's the cut off. Are you listening to what he's saying? Re-training. New system. Youth. I'm telling you this kid is the grim reaper. You deal with this or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.