Hi it's so nice to meet you! I'm Grace and you must be fat.

Grace

He's driving around half asleep with Jesus as his copilot.

Nora

Sometimes I just look at him and can't believe he looks back at me the same way.

Amy [about Ricky]

You cannot date your sister's... IMPREGNATOR!!!

George

It's funny how one little argument can destroy the entire universe.

George

Amy: I hate myself when I don't trust you. You're the best husband in the world.
Ricky: I'm not your husband.
Amy: Yeah we have to do something about that.

Must be going around gay-care, I mean day-care.

Ricky

C'mon you disease carrying skank, you know I love you.

Grant [to Grace]

Nora: Oh good lord, my son was living with nudists.
Margaret: Buddhists.

Breakups come in threes.

Lauren

You're cute when you're all wound up like this, you know that?

Ricky [to Amy]

She was my daughter too!!!

Ben