Adrian: Ben, friends don't live together.
Ben: Friends having babies with friends live together.

I have to be good cop to your bad cop!

George [to Anne]

Wow, this is really kind of sick. My son is dating his mother.

Nora

It's like looking in a mirror before I was into alcohol...drugs...guys...

Nora

I'm a lot funnier now that I'm happy Ashley.

Anne

I'm unflappable, you can't flap me.

George

If you dance, you pay the piper.

Bunny

Bunny: What people are more important than your job?
Ricky: Girls I slept with.

I've been here 15 minutes and I've already lost one. This is going to go well.

Ms. O'Malley

Are you having twins?

Henry [to Adrian]

Ricky: Do the three of you talk about anything but sex?
Amy: What they don't know is...I'm ready to have sex with you.

We're under doctors orders to grow up.

Ben