Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Bart: It's my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job! I am going to go out there tonight and give the best performance of my life.
Marge: The best performance of your life?
Bart: The best performance of my life.

Sit perfectly still! Only I may dance.

Conan O'Brien

I didn't do it!

Sideshow Mel: Bleh! There's cheese in this sandwich! Surely you know I'm lactose intolerant!
Bart: Sorry.
Sideshow Mel: Sorry? Do you know how sick this is going to make me? Come stand next to the bathroom door, I want to yell at you some more.

Homer: Yes son, you can have an electric guitar just like your old man!
Bart: Dad, I'm asking if I can get a job.
Homer: Gig, son. When you're a musician, a job is called a gig.

Kent Brockman: Yeah, I know I'm on...but I don't care! I don't read the news until I get my danish. Go ahead, try to find a replacement.
Bumblebee Guy: A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 120 people. Aye Chihuahua!

Oh and here's my office. If you will direct your eyes to the floor, you'll see a yellow line. Follow it! It will lead you around my desk, and back out the door.

Factory Worker

Bart: Have any of the workers had their hands cut off by the machinery?
Factory Worker: No.
Bart: And then the hand started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody?
Factory Worker: No, that has never happened.
Bart: Any popped eyeballs?
Factory Worker: I'm not sure what kind of factory you're thinking of.

Fifty-six boxes of bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-six boxes of bottles of beer, you take one down and pass it around, fifty-five boxes of bottles of beer on the wall!

</i> Principal Skinner and Martin

Milhouse: (pointing out the window) What's that building over there?
Box Factory Tour Guide: That's just a TV studio where they film Krusty the Clown and other non-box-related programs. Since it has nothing to do with boxes, I'll just shut these blinds.

Bart: (after his 15th minute of fame is up) What happened?
Krusty: Oh, don't worry about that. You're just finished, that's all.

Krusty: Bart! I need to use you in a sketch.
Bart: You want me to be on the show?
Krusty: It's just one line. Mel's supposed to say it, but he's dead.
Bart: Dead?!
Krusty: Or sick. I don't know. I forget.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 28 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 12 Quotes

Bart: (Whistling Simpsons' Theme)
Marge: Bart, I've asked you not to whistle that annoying tune.
Bart: (Saluting and speaking German) Ja wohl, mein mamadant!

I didn't do it!

Bart
x Close Ad